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# Fugary Swank
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fugary-swank-06-2012/
- Published: 2012-06-08T18:00:52.000Z
- Updated: 2012-06-08T04:04:01.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: Dialogues, stumpification, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:31

FERGIE: Hilary. You're smiling. Why are you smiling?

HILARY: Because... should I not be?

FERGIE: Do tree stumps smile?

HILARY: No.

FERGIE: WELL THEN:

[![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/06/145900481.jpg "Hilary Swank")](https://gofugyourself.com/fugary-swank-06-2012/3rd-annual-amfar-inspiration-gala-new-york-arrivals?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)

FERGIE: You were so close. And then look at those things.

HILARY: Oh, I suppose I see what you mean.

FERGIE: Yep. Just poking out of there like groundhogs checking the weather. That is no way to have ankles.

HILARY: Oh, like you're one to talk.

[![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/06/145900527.jpg "Fergie")](https://gofugyourself.com/fugary-swank-06-2012/3rd-annual-amfar-inspiration-gala-new-york-inside?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)

FERGIE: At least you can see that I have legs, and a knee joint.

HILARY: You're awfully smug for someone who might be wearing very fancy radials.

FERGIE: Because at least I'm *trying*.

HILARY: Okay, genius, what should I have tried?

FERGIE: Something else. Or some hemming. Or both. If you'd told me years ago that I would be [the *90210* alum ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild%5FOrchid%5F%28band%29?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io#Album%5FOxygen%5Fand%5Ftours)who looked better on this night, I would have laughed so hard [and then maybe done some more meth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fergie%5F%28singer%29?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io#1992.E2.80.932001:%5FMusic%5Fcareer%5Fwith%5FWild%5FOrchid%5Fand%5Fpersonal%5Fstruggles). But who's laughing NOW? ... Okay, still me. But differently.

HILARY: Well, if you'd told me then that between the two of us I would be the *90210* alum who had two Oscars, I'd have been like, "Yep, that makes sense," and then called up Rob Lowe just to remind everyone that I COULD.

FERGIE: Sure thing, stumpy.

HILARY: How'd *Poseidon* work out, there, Stacy?

FERGIE: Point for the elf.