Emma Watson

It's all very poetic through Mario Testino's lens, I'm sure, but I keep waiting for a silent-movie-style card to pop up that says, "O NO! He ran off with mine pantaloons!"

Emma Watson

"Je suis désolé! The pantaloon merchant is closed until tomorrow! What shall I do?"

Emma Watson

"Get out, trouser tramp, and STAY OUT! We don't serve your kind in this bookstore."

Emma Watson

"O WOE. I have good money to spend, but my treasonous thighs betray me with their nakedness!"

Emma Watson

"Yeah, you know what? Fuck that noise. I'm'a take my shorts and my necktie and go find a cafe that DOES want to serve a girl who looks like a Catholic schoolgirl who's dropping out to compete in Project Runway. THE END, bitches. You've been served."

Fugcome

This is Emma Watson, shooting a Lancome campaign in Paris -- excuse me, Lancôme; you know the hat over the O must matter because Emma is also wearing a hat. Synergy! However, I hope this ad looks better in motion, because in still frames she looks like the love child of Charlie Chaplin and Chloe Sevigny -- a child, in fact, that the world should rue does not exist, because THINK of the Fug Madness seedings. [Photos: Splash News]