KANYE WEST

"CHECK OUT MY KARDASHISKIRT. I'M SO TRENDY IT HURTS. SO DON'T BE CURT ABOUT MY SKIRT BECAUSE THIS TRUTH I WILL ASSERT: IF BRUCE WAS DINNER THEN I'M DESSERT, SO CRAWL OUT OF YOUR YURT AND GET ON BOARD THE S.S. SKIRT."

KANYE WEST

"ALSO I REALLY LIKE PYREX. COOKS MY FOOD SO NICE AND CLEANS UP A TREAT. I'M SERIOUS, ON MY SOUL; I WOULDN'T LIE ABOUT A CASSEROLE. SHIT, IF WE START PULLING THAT, THEN THE TERRORISTS HAVE ALREADY WON."

KANYE WEST

"BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN CASSEROLES? JESUS. IT'S NO HOAX -- MY FAITH AND WISDOM HE WILL STOKE, AND ALSO THAT DUDE'S ABS ARE NO JOKE, THEY ARE MAJOR AND TIGHT AND DOPE THANKS TO CARAVAGGIO, SO FUN OF ME DO NOT POKE OR ELSE ON YOUR IGNORANCE YOU WILL CHOKE. HANG ON I NEED A DIET COKE. OKAY I'M BACK FOLKS."

FOLKS

"...FOLKS?!?"

KANYE WEST

"WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A MAN IN A SKIRT BEFORE? IT'S CALLED MEDIEVAL TIMES, FOOLS, AND I DON'T JUST MEAN THE RESTAURANT, ALTHOUGH IT IS MY UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY MAKE A FINE CUP OF MEAD, BUT BEYONCE'S RECIPE IS BETTER. BUT NOW I'M MAD 'CAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME DOUBT AND GIVING MY SPIRIT EMOTIONAL GOUT. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF LOUTS AND YOUR JUDGMENT I WILL FLOUT, AND WHEN YOU SEE THAT THIS SKIRT IS WHAT TRUE LOVE IS ABOUT YOU WILL SAY, 'KANYE I NO LONGER DOUBT THE GLORY OF WHAT YOU SPOUT,' AND I'LL BE LIKE, 'NAH, GET THE HELL OUT,' AND YOU WILL CRY. LOOK:"

MY LADY KIM

"I JUST WANTED US TO MATCH WHEN WE WERE APART. BUT NOW IT'S JUST SADNESS IN MY HEART BECAUSE AT MY SKIRT YOU THREW A DART AND IT'S OVER BEFORE IT COULD START. YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN THE SKIRT RISES AGAIN. LIKE THE DARK KNIGHT, IT WILL BE BETTER THE SECOND TIME, AND ALSO MAYBE HAVE A PROTECTIVE CUP."

Fugdigger

"LISTEN UP, IT'S TWELVE TWELVE, OF THE YEAR TWENTY TWELVE, AND WE'RE PERFORMING TO SAVE VICTIMS OF HURRICANE TWELVE. JUST KIDDING IT WAS SANDY, BUT NOTHING RHYMES WITH TWELVE. SO I'M PULLING MY THESAURUS OFF THE SHELVES AND INTO IT WE WILL DELVE I HOPE SANTA AND HIS ELVES ARE WATCHING US IMPROVE OURSELVES AND AW HELL, Y'ALL, I MADE A RHYME WITH TWELVE. I AM THE MASTER. BUT NOT THAT CRAZY CULT KIND OF MASTER FROM THE MOVIE. I AM REAL HAPPY JOAQUIN PHOENIX GOT A BEST ACTOR NOMINATION FOR THAT BUT I THINK PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN WAS THE BOMB AND IT WAS HIS YEAR, MAN, WHAT IS THIS 'SUPPORTING ACTOR' MALARKEY? HE IS THE BREAST, NOT THE BRA, Y'ALL. BUT THAT'S GOOD JOAQUIN, YOU GO HAVE YOUR MOMENT. IT'S COOL. I MEAN, NOT FOR PHILIP, BUT WHATEVER. SLEEP TIGHT. TWELVE." [PHOTOS: AWESOME FUGNATIONAL @CARISSATOPS WHO TOOK PICTURES OFF HER TV OF YOUR BELOVED KANYE WEEZY. OH, AND ALSO ONE FROM INF DAILY.]