Erin Wasson, Golden Globes, January 2012
One word: vile. Two words: vile, desperate. Three words: GO BACK HOME. Four words: What is your problem? Five words: no no no no no.
Piper Perabo, Golden Globes, January 2012
This seriously looks like construction sheeting. Even SHE is like, "Welcome to Aisle 5 of Home Depot!"
Jessie J, The Brit Awards, Feb 2012
I was wondering what would happen if Jessie J branched out of catsuits. The answer made me miss the catsuits.
Miley Cyrus, February 2012
These high-waisted, stumpifying, horrifying pants were made even more hilarious by the fact that she had to unbutton them in order to sit in the driver's seat. MILEY. It didn't have to be this way.
Fergie, The Gramys, Feb 2012
I believe when Jess and I saw this, we shrieked, "Whitney Houston is DEAD. PUT ON SOME CLOTHES."
Sasha, Grammys, Feb 2012
Terminator 5: Prom Night.
Robyn, the Grammys, Feb 2012
Terminator 6: Now We're Rooting For The Robots.
Ginnifer Goodwin, Oscars, Feb 2012
This dress is the equivalent of a stiff-arm to the forehead: It's trying so, so hard, and getting absolutely nowhere.
Jessica White, Feb 2012
Before this outfit, I didn't much care about model Jessica White. After this, she is one of my very favorite fuggers, and to boot, the lady fantasy of many a male clown.
Ashanti, Fashion Week, Feb 2012
ASHANTI IS WEARING A VAGINA STRIPE. As many times as I've had to say it, that STILL never quite sinks in.
Adrienne Bailon, March 2012
ADRIENNE BAILON IS WEARING A VAGINA TABLECLOTH AND NO PANTIES. As many times as I've had to say it, that STILL never quite sinks in.
Chloe Sevigny, March 2012
This outfit never fails to crack me up with delight. She is divine. There is NO WAY she left the house thinking anything but, "This is the best joke I've ever told," right?
China Chow, April 2012
Never stand downwind of Roy G. Biv when he's sneezing.
Zooey Deschanel, April 2012, Stella McCartney party
Stella McCartney, I believe, gets the blame for this one. The fit is so awful it's epic -- if The Hobbit is three movies then this one is at least five.
Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron, May 2012
These two were a cracked-out matched set at this premiere. Kristen looks like she just got felt up by a dude while he was in the middle of tarring his driveway.
Elizabeth Banks, Met Ball, May 2012
I am still not sure how to put this outfit into words. It looks like a toddler built it.
Sarah Jessica Parker, Met Ball, May 2012
I would rather go naked than wear ANY of this collection.
Gwyneth Paltrow, Met Ball, May 2012
The fit on this thing is SO absurd and shameful that Gwyneth even made polite reference to the fact that she hadn't put on the dress before that very moment. EVEN GOOP was subtly disclaiming it, instead of muscling through. It's basically an apron. Having said that, why don't I go to the gym more? Damn, legs.
Leighton Meester, Met Ball, May 2012
The more time passes, the more I hate everything about this, from how stale the color looks, to how overzealous her bronzer was.
Beyonce, Met Ball, May 2012
There were photos of her going up the grand staircase in this dress that were almost indecent. Was Beyonce challenging her detractors to forage in her birth canal THEMSELVES for proof that she truly had that baby?
Marc Jacobs, Met Ball, May 2012
It's not that I care whether Marc Jacobs wants to wear a dress. It's that I care whether he wants to wear a GOOD dress. This is crappy underwear with a tablecloth and the Wicked Witch of the West's favorite sky-writing shoes.
Jessica Chastain, Tony Awards, June 2012
This was not her breast look. ZING.
Demi Lovato, June 2012
Sideboob, feathers, and head mold. Hellfire. It's like she exhumed one of Madonna's Blonde Ambition ponytails and didn't rinse it off first.
Eliza Doolittle, Britain Creates 2012: Fashion & Art Collusion, June 2012
I don't know much about Eliza Doolittle, but I'd LOVE to understand why she apparently hulked out while doing the limbo at her Catskills vacation in the 50s.
Brooke Mueller, Who The Hell Knows, July 2012
SHE CUT THE CROTCH OUT OF HER PANTS. THAT IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF PANTS, YOU WINGNUT. RESPECT THE ESSENCE.
Katy Perry, out and about, August 2012
Lordy. In 2012, granny panties really had a moment.
Princess Charlene, her nightmares, August 2012
Princess Charlene is one pair of red-framed specs away from starring in The Sally Jessy Story.
Lily Cole, Venice Film Festival, September 2012
!!!!!!! I had forgotten about this one, and now it's burned into my nightmares.
Naomie Harris, October 2012
Perfect for arriving at your premiere by cannon shot.
Rihanna, November 2012
Be nice to RiRi in the prison yard. She gets the best contraband.
Christina Milian, Mr Chow's, November 2012
Are you KIDDING ME with this? TO A RESTAURANT?
Kim Kardashian, November 2012
DITTO.
Naomi Watts, November 2012
It's fitting that she wore these to this premiere, because those sleeves are a tsunami of impossible.
Stella McCartney, British Fashion Awards, November 2012
This is but one chapter of our ongoing series, "Why is Stella McCartney so awful?" Who wears a satin pants-bag ON PURPOSE? And who sees Satin McPantsbag and thinks, "Oh, yeah, I'd DIE for her to dress me"?
Kristen Stewart, November 2012
AND THEN. I don't know which I want more: Kristen playing Liza Minnelli, or Liza Minnelli playing Kristen.
Kristen Stewart, November 2012
She looks like she sat in an oil slick.
Zosia Mamet, December 2012
NOW she's smiling?!?!?!?!
Kristen Stewart, December 2012
Kristen squeezed in a late entry that was too crackwackulous to ignore. I LOVE the idea that a tiny net extending four inches down from her crotch is supposed to convince us this is a dress, and not a page from an olden times lingerie catalog.
Justin Bieber, December 2012
Son, you are not fooling anyone.