Ginnifer Goodwin

I don't even know what she's wearing. I'm too obsessed with her red carpet faces. They're all I can see. They are my white whale, my holy grail, my six-fingered man. I am obsessed with them.

Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly. You have possibly never looked better than this. You are one of my best friends (in my imagination) and we've been through so much together -- judging from your musical contributions to this (imaginary) relationship, primarily rough break-ups with a variety of unworthy jerkfaces -- and I'm so proud.

Vanessa Williams

Vanessa Williams is in 666 Park Avenue, which I am pretty sure I am going to love. She and Terry O'Quinn are married and EVIL, plus Rachael Taylor (who was the best part of the Charlie's Angels reboot) AND Robert Buckley, who PRESUMABLY won't have to say, "Sorry I forgot I had a son but I was in a fugue state" in this one, unlike the last season of One Tree Hill. I LOVE Vanessa Williams, and therefore I feel that we have a relationship that allows me to gently tell her that she looks a bit like she's wearing a gift bag.

Hayden Pantywaist

Wow, she's super blonde now.

Alyssa Milano

Alyssa is on the remake of the British show Mistresses. It....doesn't look very good. I can not say I think this is a very successful outfit, either. Oh, Alyssa. Let's just move on before I say anything more.

Krysten Ritter

Later, she is going to sacrifice us all to the gods. No big.

Fugs and Fabs: ABC Upfronts

These Upfronts are REALLY making my life easier. Thank you, Networks, for giving us material -- both for this space, and for my DVR. That being said, this particular Upfront wasn't as extensively photographically chronicled as the others. Maybe the photogs on Upfronts duty are really upset about how dumb the end of last week's Grey's Anatomy was and decided to boycott. [Photos: Getty]