> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# Fugs and Fabs: American Ballet Theater Opening
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fugs-and-fabs-american-ballet-theater-opening/
- Published: 2013-10-31T20:00:16.000Z
- Updated: 2013-10-31T05:09:25.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35

## Jessica Stam

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805713.xml)

This is very prim, for sure, and I know Fug Nation will remember if we've seen it before (it feels like we have?). And I can't get into it on her, because her head has the affect of having just stabbed her stepmother and tied her to a water heater in the attic.

## Sigourney Weaver

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805706.xml)

Simple, classy, elegant. I wish she were dripping in a bit more jewelry, but whatever. I always wish that. Sigourney Weaver should have all the jewelry.

## Nicky Hilton

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805700.xml)

A high-fashion schoolmarm. I appreciate her aiming for class, but this thing is too much dress for her.

## Crystal Renn

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805716.xml)

Her gown is interestingly dramatic, but I am just ITCHING to take this exact head and put it on top of Charlene of Monaco's black dress from earlier.

## Bebe Neuwirth

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805694.xml)

I've come to grips with the fact that, talented as she is on stage, she will never be the same to me when she's not being Lillith Crane. Preferably while playing the spoons at Woody's wedding.

## Alyssa Miller

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/ffn_gg_abt_gala_103013_51247673.xml)

The difference is that when Zoe Saldana wore this, [it was lined](https://gofugyourself.com/full-size-image/814841?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io). Save the underboob for the SI swimsuit issue, okay? This is the ballet. If we are accidentally seeing ANYONE'S boob contours on this night, it should be someone on-stage displaying superhuman feats of strength and athleticism and grace.

## Meghan Markle

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805693.xml)

The blandest of color schemes, and the blandest of lipsticks, wiht the biggest shoulder ruffle that has ever added zero interest to a dress. This is a nap for me. SOMEONE should've ponied up a fancy ball gown for her to wear, so that she's not frantically checking the invitation and wondering if she missed the memo.

[Fugs and Fabs: American Ballet Theater OpeningI hope the ballet was good. I mean, could it ever be as good as Cooper Nielsen driving a motorcycle onto the stage while Jodie Sawyer executes impossible costume changes, including full hair and makeup and dance shoes, while on-stage? No. No it could not. Center Stage, you are the alpha and omega of dance. \[Photos: WENN, Fame/Flynet\]![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/wenn20805713.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fugs-and-fabs-american-ballet-theater-opening-10-2013/)