Ellie Goulding
I mean this is not necessarily a disaster, but it's hardly transportive to me, either, unless what I'm seeking is to replicate the experience of being a very expensive accent pillow.
Kylie Jenner
Kylie is confused because she thought she was in costume as Sexy Joan of Arc.
Jessica Hart
She's a model, and while normally even the ones in wacky outfits at least take makeup well, she just looks a mess to me. It doesn't help that this dress looks like an art deco fungus has devoured her.
Diane Kruger
And THIS is an entire quilted JUMPSUIT, and yet somehow it still feels like Kruger got off lightly.
Jourdan Dunn
And then we get the battle of the models in mad-expensive tube tops. In the first corner we get Jourdan here...
Kendall Jenner
... and over here, Kendall, whose pants are more harem and whose shoes are more awful. I have to give this one to Jourdan. It isn't really even close.
Gigi Hadid
How Gigi managed to get through this unscathed is commendable.
Alexa Chung
She ALSO looks good. There isn't much signature about this -- from a Balmain perspective -- but she looks super chic, which is a better advertisement.
Alek Wek
She brightens up EVERY affair.
Coco Rocha
We've seen Kim Kardashian in this ensemble already -- and in fact, another guest at this party wore the exact same one (I'm guessing THAT person paid for it and Coco had it given). Coco wins this one if for no other reason than the pants don't bunch up on the floor and eat her feet.
Zachary Quinto
He seems like a random fit, and also, as if he knows that. Maybe he can referee in case Jourdan and Kendall rip the identical tube bras off each other.