Vanessa Redgrave
My Google Fu has failed me as to why Vanessa is sporting an eye patch on the red carpet. I hope it's just for sport. I hope eye patches become the next trend. Fancy piracy for ALL.
Brie Larson in Alexander McQueen
Does it feel like McQueen is getting a LOT of play lately? This is chewing her up a little bit, I fear. Perhaps a lot bit. It's also a bit of a demented Rorschach. I see a mustache across her thighs.
Riley Keough
Whereas I think HER midsection has a large orthodontia bill coming.
Aja Naomi King in Oscar de la Renta
This is straight-up fantastic. For sure it's the best she's ever looked.
Rooney Mara
This isn't terrible. I might even like it? She's trained me to expect so much worse.
Rooney Mara in Louis Vuitton
I want to put this lipstick on the previous photo, and then trash the rest of it. It doesn't even look alluringly MADE.
Natalie Portman
I don't dislike this dress outright, but I'm not sure it really belongs on Natalie. And I'm not just saying that because she's trailing a piece of it like TP from a public bathroom.
Natalie Portman in Dior; Lily-Rose Depp
THAT'S more like it, Nat. Now let's get to the mystery of where Lily-Rose found black Kleenex, and why it's glued to her shoes.
Sigourney Weaver
Sigourney here is in (Re)Assignment, which sounds TERRIBLE. It's about a guy who is forcibly turned into a woman, and there has been -- rightly -- blowback about this treatment of transsexuality being some form of punishment. I cannot fathom, from the reviews I've read, why someone as badass as Sigourney Weaver would be in it. But at least she brought her shoe game to the premiere (if not a particularly great outfit).
Michelle Rodriguez
Michelle stars as the gender-reassigned person, and... obviously step one is changing out the shoes. But I also think the shirt under the jacket is not quite right.
Suki Waterhouse
She looks delightful. And how often do you see a model in very short heels on a red carpet? My feet are proud of hers.
Jason Momoa
He cracks me up. He looks like a wrestler who was knocked out and then dressed against his will.
Haley Bennett
Haley is in Girl On A Train, but you may remember her as the young new-age pop-star from "Music and Lyrics By." I also remember her from the time in this photograph that she got attacked by a dollmaker's costume rack.
Ruth Negga
All of this shrank right after she put it on, right?
Ruth Negga
This is pretty great, though. She brought her own parrot. And the best kind of parrot: a fabric one that cannot actually yap all the time.
Michael Shannon
Somebody get this crackpot a mai tai.
Octavia Spencer
I think she should have saved this jacket for Christmas? But it's good.
Charlotte Le Bon
So charming.
Tatiana Maslany
Oooh, I like this. I didn't expect to, so I guess the ability to be surprised is a good sign that I'm not hollowed out inside.
Bryce Dallas Howard
I don't think any of this is showing her off to her best advantage. It's also making my eyes cross.
Bryce Dallas Howard
That's fairly boring, but it's also something she could've salvaged with cooler styling around it.
Bryce Dallas Howard
And then this is bonkers. She clearly only packed one pair of shoes; I WISH I had that restraint. The outfit makes her look like a vampire cocktail waitress, though, unfortunately.
Oscar Isaac
Oh hello there, Poe Dameron. May I pilot your X-wing?