Eva Longoria in Gabriela Cadena
This is... the worst. I call it Incontinence: The Dress, because among its many sins is the fact that the panel in the middle makes her look as if she's clenching her knees together to avoid a bladder issue.
Eva Longoria
And them of course, we have the Carr's water crackers, which make a wonderful delivery mechanism for a slab of cheese.
Sonam Kapoor in Elie Saab
Well this is some SERIOUS Cannes Madness right here. I think.. I wish it were strapless. And maybe not such a queasy hue.
Sonam Kapoor in Elie Saab
But, you know, I can never resist a stairs picture.
Lily Donaldson in Saint Laurent
This beaded gunmetal gown is gorgeous, but of course boringly styled. OF COURSE.
Virginie Ledoyen in Georges Hobeika
Pretty, but also total potholder boobs. As in, someone has crept up behind her and clamped oven-mitt-clad hands over her for modesty.
Paris Hilton
The sheer trend should have started and ended with her, because that is exactly as desperate as I think she is now for attention. And yet EVEN SHE is not nearly as sheer as some people who are a thousand times more famous. It's maddening. Ritz crackers are the shit.
Nina Agdal
I think maybe this is one dress you do NOT want to work in this manner. It's way less compelling than if you just think the skirt is all a unified piece.
Andie MacDowell in Elie Saab
Bracelet, Andie! Or a statement necklace. Pick your pleasure.
Sara Sampaio in Vionnet
Naked but sort of nifty.
Melanie Laurent in Zuhair Murad
Lather, rinse, repeat. Beige, sheer, sparkly.
Gabriel Byrne
Hi, gramps! I mean that affectionately.
Rachel Bresnahan
Why so angry? The suit actually feels appropriately continental on her.
Charlotte Le Bon
Simple but beautiful.
Virginie Ledoyen
I love this dress. It also looks kind of like one of those 'complete the circuit' puzzles where you have to rotate the pieces to light up everything. I kind of like those, because I'm that flavor of nerd. So I approve.