Shailene Woodley in Sophie Theallet
Those shoes are my happy place -- I slobber over the whole malachite look -- and the dress does look good on Shailene. But that's not the same thing as the dress itself looking good. She's really into fashion collages right now, it seems. While yesterday's fabrics looked a bit cheaper to me, I think that dress was cuter. This one looks like she spun the wheel of fabric samples. Five times.
Priyanka Chopra in Haider Ackermann
Please let me remind you what Priyanka Chopra should and could -- and can and DOES -- look like, and then please reflect anew on the dozens of sins big and small that are being committed by this egregious demonic laundry pile. When I first downloaded this picture, it was the illusion of the mono-sleeve hanging empty at her side that threw me. Then I looked at properly and noticed the bodice isn't flattering EITHER, and neither are the wet hair and the skirt, which might be one of the dumbest garments I've seen in a good while. First, it's designed to look like it's blown up on her, and second... It's got a zipper on that part of the hem, right? A totally pointless zipper that will never actually be zipped. I want that thing to take a week off and really do some soul-searching.
Nicola Peltz
All I know is, her interpretive dance at this funeral is going to be the talk of the entire suburb.
Jordana Brewster in Galvan
Psst, Jordana, honey, I think you're hatching.
Isla Fisher in Tom Ford
She's going to be among the winners by default here. And I say that KNOWING she's wearing a collar and a leash as accessories.
Sarah Hyland
Again: Do I love it? No. Do I hate it? No. Do I feel like everything that came before it lowered the bar so that she could clear it without even really lifting her foot? Absolutely.
Laura Dern in Tom Ford
Laura, you are so soothing to me, but WHY are your feet in those? I need a shoe safe word so that you guys don't have to listen to ALL my rants on repeat.
Jourdan Dunn in David Koma
I thought those were sweatpants when I saw the thumbnail, but they're not, so... progress?
Rita Wilson in Tom Ford
Velvet is having SUCH A MOMENT. Are these different COLORS, though, or is it just the effect of the lighting?
Dita Von Teese
I thought she'd be a comforting way to end the slideshow. Like a glass of wine at the end of a rough day. The worst is behind us, we've got a familiar old friend in hand, and we can start fresh tomorrow. Except, of course, this post is running in the middle of the day, so things could take a turn again, but... my intentions were good.