Heidi Klum

Heidi's costume is ALWAYS labor intensive, and this was no different; you can see her entire process on her Instagram. Jessica Rabbit is a sort of retro choice -- I'd like to know how she came up with this one -- but her costume is dead-on, complete with cartooon-ish body proportions. She is also (again, as often) basically facially unrecognizable. I salute the Klum for how much she loves Halloween.

Heidi Klum and Gigi Hadid

And, for what it's worth, Gigi Hadid's Sandy At The End of Grease costume is also great. I feel like she deserves props for a costume that is sincerely sexy, but also A REAL COSTUME and not, like, "sexy Hermione Granger."

Nicki Minaj

Informative Caption tells me that Nicki here is "a fairy princess," and I think she looks extremely cute except her cleavage is obviously ready to turn on her, and it will have just cause to do so.

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatu,

Ladies and gentleman, may I present Cat in the Hat, and Sexy Cat in the Hat? (Is it wrong that I wish Channing had gone as Sexy Cat in the Hat?)

Lindsay Lohan

I assume Lindsay is...a sexy black cat vampire? I don't know.

Beyonce, Jay Z and Blue Ivy

Yes, yes, these Coming to America costumes are great -- if you want a better look, just click "full size" -- but I honestly just want to talk about how CUTE Blue Ivy is. SHE IS SO CUTE.

Hugh Grant

What is Hugh Grant, you guys? Is he...Lazy Big Bad Wolf? That kind of works for his brand, actually.

Jessica Lowndes

Sexy Dracula, obviously. (Actually, I think this is an excellent costume, for its genre.)

Gwen Stefani

I have NO IDEA what she is supposed to be, but I love the romance conspiracy theorist on Gwen's Insta who decided the cowgirl theme was a shout-out to Blake Shelton. (I also think that it's entirely possible and maybe even probable that Gwen is FINE with people thinking she might be hooking up with Blake.)

Suki Waterhouse

JEM??? This one feels right on the tip of my tongue, and yet I cannot get there. Suki, please clarify what you are on your Instagram. Posting ten pics of this costume accompanied just the caption "tonight" is VERY ANNOYING FOR ME.

Molly Sims

LOTS of ladies went for the Sexy Feline look this year.

Niecy Nash

Who wore it better? (I vote Niecy.)

Maria Shriver

Including my nemesis, Maria Shriver, who is -- I think -- actual, proper Catwoman. She looks great.

David Spade

You knew SOMEONE was going to be Pizza Rat. Also, I would fully believe if it we found out that David Spade is currently writing a movie called Pizza Rat.

Michelle Tractenberg

Michelle is -- per her Insta -- Hans Christian Andersen's The Snow Queen. She goes on to note, "was a busy night of stealing little children and turning their hearts into shards of glass." That's awesome, and a great costume as well.

Josh Duhamel, Fergie

Okay. We can do this one, right? Josh is obviously Karl Lagerfeld -- as Heather was, one year. Perhaps they are soulmates! -- so Fergie must be...CHOUPETTE! Karl's cat! Right?? I am embarrassingly proud of myself for having logicked that out.

Julianne Hough

Julianne is Alabama from True Romance -- the Patricia Arquette character -- and I think she looks better in this than in half of the stuff she wears for real. She looks really cute, if mildly trashy.

Lori Loughlin

You can't really tell because of how dark it is outside, but that's a bird on her head, and one on her wrist as well. She's Tippi Hedrin in The Birds. This is VERY well done.

Serena Williams

Serena helpfully wore a sash informing me that she is the prom queen!

Elisha Cuthbert

I decided that Elisha is Business Witch.

Paris and Nicky Hilton

Paris is here to prove to you that SOMEONE bought that Sexy Gladiator costume; Nicky is here to prove that not everyone got the "Hey, maybe let's stop dressing up like Native Americans for fun" memo.

Nicky Hilton

For Halloween proper (the previous slide was an earlier party), however, Nicky was Courtney Love -- which is, to my mind, a better costume on a variety of levels.

Paris Hilton

This was Paris's other Halloween costume and her Instagram claims she is Barbarella....which she doesn't resemble at all, so your guess is as good as mine. I mean, I guess that's what she is, since that's what she said she is.

Kim Kardashian

Her caption reads, "I think I nailed the Kim K costume," and, reader, I laughed.

Rande Gerber, Cindy Crawford

I feel like I never know what these two are supposed to be. Cindy's Instagram implies they're generic Hells Angels. Given that this was a party they threw in aid of their tequila company that they own with Clooney and Amal, I wish they'd gone AS Clooney and Amal, who were not there.

Jessica Alba, Cash Warren

That's an excellent Romy and Michelle on Jessica Alba.

Lisa Rinna, Harry Hamlin

YEAH. Not great, Bob. These two are Sid and Nancy, and while I am aware that the real Sid Vicious wore that particular shirt a lot, you know what? You can totally dress like Sid Vicious without the swastika, and, additionally, I cannot imagine a world where running around sporting a swastika is EVER your best idea for Halloween. I cannot get over how DUMB this is. I doubt anyone is going to decide Harry Hamlin loves Nazis, but plenty of people will be grossed out by this, and at the VERY LEAST, it's ill-advised to give people this kind of ammunition when you are a public figure. Just...don't wear Nazi symbolism, anywhere, ever, outside of a movie role where you are SPECIFICALLY PLAYING AN AN ACTUAL NAZI. Have you learned nothing from the OTHER Harry, Harry?

Ellie Goulding

"Hey, Ellie, what's your costume this year?"

"Erm...sexy person in latex?"

"Okay! Have fun."

Janice Dickinson

Good old Janice. I am rewatching all of ANTM on Hulu at the moment, and she really was a gift.

LeAnn Rimes

She actually looks nice, but there comes a point in a person's Halloween History when they need to set aside the costumes they got at Sexy Lingerie and wear real clothes again.

Aubrey O'Day

That said, this Sexy Cruella de Vil is really pretty cute on Aubrey. Is it weird that I think this hair really suits her?

Dascha Polanco

I wonder how many people came up to her over the course of the evening and said, "hey, Dascha, you look like a hooker. GET IT!??"

J Lo and Casper Smart

HOLA UNDEAD LOVERS.

Nicole Scherzinger

Sexy...zombie....cat? Sure!

Phoebe Price

This seems about right.

Emily Ratajkowski

This costume makes me like Emily Ratajkowski more than I did before.

Holland Roden

This is GREAT. This is basically exactly what happened on the Rick Owens runway this past season, except with a doll instead of a model. Round of applause.

Nick Jonas

I appreciate any man who will commit crime for hamburgers.

Michael Sheen

I have no idea what he is, but the unkempt scruff does make it a bit alarming. (I feel like this one of those where you guys will be like, "DUH, he's Monsieur Thenardier at Christmas!" and I'll be like, "OH YEAH.")

The Today Show

This is cute, and also great PR for the new Peanuts movie.

Kelly & Michael

Kelly and Michael did a couple of looks, as they always do. The first, obviously, is Star Wars, and I think Michael should consider keeping that wig, because it's unexpectedly becoming on him.

Kelly and Michael

And they were also Left Shark and Katy Perry, of course.

Katy Perry

ACTUAL Katy Perry was a mic drop. Which seems like the right place to end this slideshow, no?

Fugs and Fabs: Halloween!

In which certain celebrities continue not to understand that certain costumes are probably not a great idea, and no one in their lives gives them good advice. In other news, as ever, I look forward to you guys helping me figure out what some of these costumes even are. For a few celebs, my notes literally read, "???? Sexy???" So....let's consider this a group project. [Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]