Joan Smalls
This is just terrible. Your skirt does NOT need a shower curtain.
Karlie Kloss
In which Karlie Kloss left her shirt at home.
Eva Herzigova
Eva had a baby less than a month ago; I'm not sure I love her makeup, but she looks generally pretty great. I want to take that snake bracelet home with me.
Lara Nieto
I....can not with this dress. The beading on your formal gown should not be constructed so as to be read as a modern plea to bring back old-fashioned pubic hair styling. Your sartorial choices should never make a statement about your waxing ones.
Selita Ebanks
This is ALSO HORRIFYING. What happened, Models of Cannes? Did you all somehow get hypnotized last night? Is Sharon Stone behind this? (I actually hope Sharon DID decide to punk everyone thusly, somehow.)
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
After the previous cavalcade of SHEERY LUNACY (no pun intended), this is refreshingly sparse. My palate, she is cleansed.
Petra Nemcova
Hey, maybe the dress code literally was "TMI." And it's giving me TMJ.
Izabel Goulart
If that was TMI, then this is TMTMI.
Toni Garrn
WHAT. NO. This is...not clothes! THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOTHING.
Lily Donaldson
Leg is SO 2012, Lily. Get with the program.
Ana Beatriz Barros
This feels like 2011 Lea Michele.
Isabeli Fontana
Did you know Leg City has a stomach district? It's called Side Abenue. ZING.
Jessica Hart
Thank you, Jessica Hart, for looking reasonably reasonable. At next month's Meeting of the Jessicas I shall nominate you for commendation. (Simpson will vote for you. You know she does whatever we tell her to do now.)
Milla Jovovich
She needs some lipstick and I am pretty sure I saw this envisioned as a duvet cover by the fine folks at Anthropologie, but she's basically pulling this off. It helps that she's....you know. Milla Jovovich.
Bianca Balti
This is underwhelming, yet not underDRESSED. I will take it? I'm tired. Can I lie down yet?
Liberty Ross
a) I'm bored.
b) I liked this so much better on Kate Bosworth.
c) You wore that same skirt style to the Oscars.
Heidi Klum
Skirt by Georgia O'Keefe.
Alessandra Ambrosio
Lingerie by someone who doesn't really understand that a lot of fabric defeats the purpose of lingerie.
Angela Lindvall
The black-over-nude trend is so past-it. But compared to the rest of this slideshow this is so refreshingly normal that it's comforting.
Irina Shayk
This, at least, is actually totally lovely on her. Okay. I feel better now.