> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fugs and Fabs (Mostly Fugs, Though, Let's Face It): The Dark Shadows Events - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fugs-and-fabs-mostly-fugs-though-lets-face-it-the-dark-shadows-events/ - Published: 2012-05-11T17:00:56.000Z - Updated: 2012-05-14T17:58:26.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30 ## HBC ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/144066076.jpg) I swear, I know that this is entertaining, and that SHE probably knows it's entertaining also, and that she doesn't care what I think, and that's fine with me. She shouldn't care what I think. But for the record, that thought is: She should open the world's first circus brothel. ## HBC ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/wenn3870824.jpg) The OTHER problem with HBC's outfits, for me, is that one accidental flick of the facial expression, and she looks like she wandered out of the Harrod's Dumpster after a glue-gun bender and a two-day nap. ## Johnny Depp ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144064362.jpg) Oh, Fug Nation, I know I'm going to be so unpopular with you for not finding him deeply enigmatic and original. But I guess one person's "smoldering" is another person's "Hang onto your appendix, because JOHNNY'S HUNGRY." ## Johnny Depp ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144012350.jpg) This might be a little better, although the open shirt underneath makes him look like a human accessory rack at Express. ## Johnny Depp ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144012299.jpg) I am so very concerned he hasn't showered in three days, though. And nothing kills a jones like the prospect of smells. However, is it just me, or is it sort of sweet that he and Tim Burton now both wear blue-tinted lenses everywhere? They really are soul brothers. I would not be surprised to learn they'd pierced fingers and then rubbed them together years ago, thus sealing a pact for Johnny to slowly turn INTO Tim Burton. ## Michelle Pfeiffer ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144012392.jpg) Michelle seemed a little self-conscious at some of these events. Possibly that's because she goes out so rarely. Like, someone should've DRAGGED her to the Met Ball, right? Conflicts be damned -- bring back Michelle Pfeiffer. And she looks great, if a tad skittish. The dress isn't my favorite thing I've ever seen, but it looks good on her, so I'm not mad. ## Michelle Pfeiffer ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144066644.jpg) I almost wish the other dress were in this color. I like the IDEA here -- for sure the blood-red is delicious, and apt -- but it suffers from being a tad too low and a tad too limo-ravaged. ## Bella Heathcote ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144013631.jpg) Bella's biggest credit before this was the Aussie soap *Neighbors*, with which I have a long and loving history, although she was on it WAY after my time. So a press tour like this, much less being in a movie with Johnny Depp and HBC, must be a little jarring. Credit to he for seeming cheerful and composed, and I like the IDEA of this, but I wonder if it'd be better without the extra rosettes on the straps. There's a busyness to it that vaults it into I Just Came From My Important Religious Ceremony territory. ## Bella Heathcote ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144071626.jpg) I laughed out loud when I saw that she went in TOTALLY the other direction for the European premiere. If the other one was "Hello, I Just Took The Body of Christ," then this one is totally, "Hey, Dude, Got Any Pig's Blood? Because I Totally Want To Have A Dark-Magic Orgy Later." ## Bella Heathcote ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144066653.jpg) I LOVE how it looks like all the ladies on the poster are giving her outfit the stink-eye. ## Alison Lohman ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144013708.jpg) I would suggest that 1992 called and wants its clothing back, but unfortunately, 2001 called first and asked for that joke back. So I'm stuck. ## Eva Green ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144013551.jpg) Eva, Eva, Eva. EVA. I love how freaking dramatic this lady is. She's like the Wicked Witch version of Florence Welch. ## Eva Green ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144063978.jpg) Those clunky-ass shoes are ruining the villainous aura she's so carefully cultivating. ## Eva Green ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144072216.jpg) Dear Lea Michele: This is how to bring it. ## Eva Green ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144071864.jpg) Oh, yes, it's been BROUGHTEN. [Fugs and Fabs (Mostly Fugs, Though, Let's Face It): The Dark Shadows EventsDuring Met Ball Mania, we missed both the U.K. and U.S. premieres of Dark Shadows. And here is where I am about to cast myself away on a lonely island, with nary a balding adventurer, nor hero-complex-imbued doctor, nor fiending rocker, nor former torturer, nor even a raffish rake with MacGyver'd specs to keep me amused. Are you ready? Okay: I am maybe a little weary of Helena Bonham Carter's style, even though I do recognize that it is super amusing and individual; sometimes I wish she would stop making Tim Burton movies, because seeing her in The King's Speech reminded me what a terrific actress she still is when she's not playing a human cartoon all the time; and -- this is the biggie -- I have never really understood the Johnny Depp thing. I KNOW. I'm sorry. I mean, as an ACTOR, I think he's very talented, but as a heartthrob, he does not compute for me. Perhaps this is because I missed out on 21 Jump Street because it didn't air where I grew up? We may never know. But there it is: I would not like to be a Depper too. So bring it. Pillory me, Fug Nation. I know it's coming. The line forms to the left. Also within: Michelle Pfeiffer and Eva Green, the latter of whom should totally have her own vigilante alter ego called Dark Shadows. \[Photos: Getty\]![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/144066076.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fugs-and-fabs-mostly-fugs-though-lets-face-it-the-dark-shadows-events-05-2012/)