Miss New York Nina Davuluri
This is our winner doing the talent portion, and she looks fantastic. I didn't have a chance to watch, and I didn't DVR it, and now I wish I had. I am the worst.
Crystal Lee, Miss California
I love that there is still a talent contest that requires people to have actual talent, when the biggest celebrity in the world right now is Miley Cyrus.
Miss Florida Myrrhanda Jones
Apparently, she TORE HER ACL during rehearsals for the talent contest, and partially tore her MCL, but just threw on a brace and performed anyway. That is intense. I applaud her for that, and for finding a leg brace she could decorate. That is some hot sauce right there.
Miss America 2013 Mallory Hagan
It's killing me that I don't have the rest of the eveningwear stuff. This is... not good. It MIGHT have been, but the sliver of skin looks like it's trying to squeeze her out of itself. Like it is a tube and she is toothpaste and its destiny is to empty itself of her.
Miss Kansas Theresa Vail
I don't understand Backward Belt.
Miss Kansas Theresa Vail
Theresa also created a stir by being the first (I think?) Miss America contestant to bare her tattoos. I assume they are calling her the first to HAVE them, but come on, you know at least one girl a year has a butterfly someplace unmentionable.
Miss America 2014 contestants Miss California Crystal Lee, Miss Florida Myrrhanda Jones, Miss New York Nina Davuluri, Miss Oklahoma Kelsey Griswold and Miss Minnesota Rebecca Yeh
And your final five: Three predictable states and two wild cards. Curious: Has there ever been a year when the finalists were all, like, Arkansas, the Dakotas, Wyoming, and New Hampshire?
Anyway, whatever, may the best ladies win, and geography shouldn't matter. Let's talk outfits: Crystal Lee is wearing something that an elder politician's wife would wear to an Inaugural ball. Miss Florida looks like she's getting married (TO AMERICA!). Miss New York is wearing a gorgeous yellow dress that is totally perfect on her. Miss Oklahoma is wearing something Sofia Vergara is now pissed she can't wear to the Emmys. And Miss Minnesota actually also looks nice. Oh how I wish I had pictures of all of it. There aren't even any on Getty NOT in our sub. There just aren't any at ALL. O CRUEL FATE.
Miss Cali, Crystal Lee, and Miss NY Nina Davuluri
I feel like these two are singing a love song to each other.
Miss CA, Miss NY
And then Nina wins, and Crystal is all, "Yeah, that was a nice moment, I'm sure I'll call you. Buh-bye."
The 2014 Miss America Competition - Show
And then everyone swarms her, and the girls on the outside of the circle have a moment of wondering why they're even bothering to just stand there sticking a hand in the scrum, and whether they should just go backstage and break open the gin. That girl in the red skirt on the left is like, "Floor, in fifteen minutes I will be passed out on you." And there are some girls on the right who are about ten miles away from the winner and still look like they think they're standing right next to her. It's amazing. The "Let's Touch Miss America" scrum In truth, it must be so hard for all these people to be told LIVE ON TV that they're not as awesome as those other people, so I admire that any of them can handle it without throwing a punch. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be really, really good TV if one of them cracked.