Geoffrey Edelsten and Gabi Grecko
Remember Australian medical entrepreneur Geoffrey Edelsten, who had a $3 million wedding to Brynne Gordon that involved a souvenir DVD narrated by Jason Alexander? Well he and Brynne split in January, and now he's engaged to this 25-year old woman (the same age Brynne was when they met, so I guess he has a type, and that type is "25-year olds with extravagant tastes"). He proposed to her again, publicly, at the Melbourne Cup and then she lost the ring like an hour later in the luxury suite, and I recommend looking at that article for the photos of Geoffrey scouring the floor for it. These two are basically wonderfully tasteful and elegant bastions of restraint.
Gabi Grecko
I feel like when Johnny Weir has figure-skating-related nightmares, they involve this outfit, although probably on Evan Lysacek.
Richard Nylon
Richard is a milliner. But to me he looks like Monty Python's Eric Idle, as drawn by Terry Gilliam in a movie Guillermo Del Toro produced.
Darryn Lyons
He is a former paparazzo who is now the Mayor of Geelong. He said, per Wikipedia, "Every election needs a comedy candidate," but then he won, so... hope he's enjoying himself?
Frances Abbott
The lady is the daughter of Australia's PM. Her date's suit coordinates strangely well with her skirt, but her top is a little bathing-suit-esque.
Lleyton Hewitt and Bec Hewitt
She may be simultaneously too tan for something that neon, and exactly as tan as you have to be in order to wear something that neon.
Matcho Suba
He's a fashion designer, and I'm pretty sure he can't see a THING through his mosquito net.
Patrice Tipoki
She's an Australian theatre actress and I think someone murdered Charlie Brown ON her skirt.
Alison Menz
I can't even figure out who this person is, beyond someone who shows up to horse races looking insane. Mission accomplished. Check off that box. Again.
Maria Venuti
Maria is an actress/singer who MIGHT be under the mistaken impression that she's in New Orleans.
Montana Cox
She won cycle 7 of Australia's Next Top Model, and SHE appears to be under the impression that she's at the first Olympics in Athens.
Kate Peck
A spider dancing on a screen door. And that's just the bit on her head.
Ashley Hart
She should be done hatching soon.
Rebecca Judd
This feels like it was inspired by a Vegas hotel suite.
Shane Warne
I just wanted you to know that Elizabeth Hurley was engaged to these man-bangs. They broke up. I blame the man-bangs.
Shane Warne
Maybe the wind ruffled his man-bangs, but still: WRANGLE YOUR DISASTROUS MAN-BANGS.
Lysandra and Alisa Fraser
Their heads look crazy in a fun way, and then their dresses are blah in a sad way.
Kate Waterhouse
She's the daughter of a thoroughbred trainer, and I think.... the gold splotch is on the wall behind her, but... are those feathers and a gold circlet, or... are we at Woodstock?
Renae Ayris
For when you want to look like your brain is leaking. But GLAMOROUSLY.
Danielle Spencer
The former Mrs. Russell Crowe looks very tasteful.
Ronn Moss
You might remember Ronn Moss from "The Bold and the Beautiful," where he was Ridge Forrester. He looks rather different now that he's let himself go grey. He is also wearing a man-bun that you can't see, although -- as I joked on Twitter -- perhaps it should be "mann-bunn."