Prince Harry
I suppose one might make this face throughout an entire event at which one is caught between one's ex-girlfriend (Chelsy Davy, who was a bridesmaid) and one's current girlfriend. Note: this group of people is very incestuous. All articles about this wedding were like, "Thomas and William used to travel together during their gap year, and Harry used to date one of the bridesmaids, whose sister used to live with Pippa, who once played tennis with the groom, who used to go riding with your mom."
Prince Harry
Even a prince of the blood must sometimes carry his own umbrella.
Some Dude, Cressida Bonas, and Princess Eugenie
Daily Mail also claims that Harry is "madly in love" with Cressida Bonas, who is apparently a real party girl -- as was Chelsy, I believe, although Chelsy is at least a working lawyer and also has a Wikipedia page like a normal royal girlfriend. How am I supposed to write this thing if all your scandals and details aren't corralled in one handy place, Cressida? I don't have all day to run all over the internet to figure out how your sister, the prodigiously named Isabella Amaryllis Charlotte Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe is allegedly the woman William dated whilst briefly broken up with Kate, until she told him she didn't want to be a princess and went off an married one of Richard Branson's kids. Also, Eugenie seems unimpressed. I've decided Cressida is trouble.
Princes Beatrice and Dave Clark
Beatrice looks lovely, although I feel like her posture is generally bad. Don't you think that the Queen is always snapping at her to stand up straight and then it makes her feel sad? I worry that the Queen might be mean to E and B because Fergie is such a pain. Anyhoodle, that's Beatrice's BF. They've been together for five years. Why don't we start haranguing them to get married? We need another Royal Wedding, dudes. Do it for the Americans.
Chelsy Davy
Chelsy's the blonder woman; remember what a hot mess she looked at Kate and Wills' wedding? She looks much more pulled together now. That was also the day I was (rightly) scolded for misidentifying her as South African, so now I feel duty-bound to announce to all that she hails from Zimbabwe, which is technically in the SOUTH of AFRICA, the continent, but...yes. I still stand corrected!
Prince William
"I wonder if Kate's got to the bit where Lucy just looks so so orange that you want to take a picture of her and put it on Instagram...."
Pippa and some MAJESTIC CREATURE
I have a better photo of Pippa's outfit, which you will see shortly, but first you must see this delight in lavender, whom the Daily Mail called "a glamorous guest," leading me to believe that she's not some rando British society lady I'd recognize if I read more Tatler. Whoever she is, she WENT THERE. This kind of IS what you should wear when the reception is at Hogwarts.
Pippa Middleton
Ol Pips looks nice although -- say it with me -- I wish she'd worn....a loincloth. NO. A bracelet, obviously. It's always a bracelet.
Small Adorable Children
YES the children at the wedding were wee Robin Hoods and wood nymphs, which is adorable. One day I shall have to tell you of how I used to watch the Errol Flynn Robin Hood over and over again as a child. Well. I guess that's the entire story. Now you know.
Tara P-T
TPT looks pretty great. But speaking of illuminating Wikipedias! Hers includes the following: her Dad was an Olympic skiier (who was Prince Charles' instructor, Chaz is her godfather), she was on a reality show that was solely about her attempt to quit smoking, and, MOST FAMOUSLY, she is the society babe who did SO MUCH COCAINE that her nasal septum disintegrated. That is a LOT of coke. She claims she only did so much Let's all give her the side-eye on behalf of her sister.
Melissa Percy and Thomas Van Straubenzee
Oh, right! The bride and groom. They look lovely and fancy and happy, and mazel tov to them!