Heidi Klum

Well, I like this on her. I'm giving it to the Klum. Turns out I CAN think something looks like a tablecloth and mean it nicely.

'America's Got Talent' Season 9 Pre-Show Red Carpet

Ugh. Scary Spice doesn't have to live up to her old name all the time, but Proprietor of the Colonel Sanders Extra Tasty Crispy House of Ladypleasure is not a good look either.

Nick Cannon

This is more drab than I like from Nick Cannon. But I appreciate his love of pointing. He is all finger guns and neon, to me which is why I'm so sad the neon is not here.

Nick Cannon

I think he and Mickey Rourke would enjoy each other.

Fugs and Fabs: The America's Got Talent Judges

I suppose Nick Cannon isn't actually a judge, but I don't feel like being that wordy in the headline. The ONLY time, in fact, I have ever not felt like being wordy. AM I RIGHT. [Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]