Craig Sager

Oh, Craig. You will be missed. I hope you are given more time than anyone imagined.

Craig Sager

Sniffle. There will never be another.

Iman Shumpert

Iman is an NBA player. (And no relation to Wiz Khalifa, despite the fact that he reminds me of Wiz somehow. Tall and lean, and a fan of low-cut tanks.) I am fascinated by his shoes. I THINK they are just weirdo sneakers, but they look awfully like he's wearing something space-age strapped around red socks.

Dwyane Wade

We covered Gabrielle elsewhere. We have double covered her, which is twice as much coverage as Dwyane gave his ankles here.

Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade

Not a fan of Gab's dress, though I wholly endorse her head. I like everything Dwyane has on, with the caveat that he is SERIOUSLY really into showing off his ankle bone right now.

Mike Trout

Meanwhile, Mike Trout has plenty of extra fabric on his hems that he could donate.

Tristan Thompson

I can't tell if his pants are cut too short, or just that he doesn't like to wear socks and so it makes them LOOK too short.

Devonta Freeman

NOBODY IS INTO SOCKS. Are socks dead? Also those shoes are bonkers. (The rest of Devonta's outfit was totally normal, so I decided not to bother.)

Trai Turner

We live in a sockless system.

David Oyelowo

You are divine, sir.

Greg Louganis

This was a night-before party, and I love that Greg Louganis kinda looks like he showed up in his wine cardigan.

Greg Louganis

He turned it out at the actual ceremony, though. His shoes in both photos are awesome, too. APPLAUSE.

Mark Henry

Mark is a weightlifter. He looks very dapper, apart from also needing a hem. Hey, how come every time a burly dude needs a suit, people comply, but when a woman with an extra half-inch of boob or hip needs a dress some designers act like it's impossible?

Richard Sherman

I love that jacket. He is incapable of being boring.

Shane West

I have no idea what Shane West is doing here, but... sure! He looks nice. I loved him om "Once and Again," but he lost me in "A Walk To Remember," largely because he and Mandy Moore were supposed to be falling in love but in that movie they look like fraternal twins.

Russell Wilson

Russell looks fine. These two fascinate me. Their body language always manages to look like they've never actually touched each other before. SHE can pull out a smile; he usually looks tense or kinda spacey. It's not a criticism. I just would be having a field day if I were the Us Weekly Body Language Expert. (Ditto with Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn. 8 times out of 10 he looks stressed.) EDITED TO ADD: I do know they allegedly didn't have sex before they got married, but that is not the same thing as not touching before they got married. Also, I am alluding to other gossipy speculation that their relationship is not for real, which ... I personally ascribe to, though I know not everyone does.

Usher and Sugar Ray Leonard

No body language analysis necessary here.

Odell Beckham

I think those jeans have their own biker bar.

Steph and Ayesha Curry

They look fine. The dress color is pretty on her, but the shoes seem overly dull for someone who is herself not at ALL dull.

Eric Decker

We also already covered Jessie, but Eric is a tall drink of water and I thought you should know that if you didn't already.

Kyrie Irving

I hope this glows in the dark.

Kyrie, Lebron James, Kevin Love

I love you, Lebron. And Kevin Love is... When he played for UCLA, my Bruin-loving friends (like Jess) could not say his name any other way than, "Kevin Looooooove." I think he's earning that here.

John Cena

John Cena hosted. I have found him very funny in movies, but man, this suit does NOT seem to fit him. It hangs on him very oddly.

Andrew Hawkins

Is that pink, or just a trick of the lighting?

Marcedes Lewis

This is NOT a trick of the lighting. It's just that funky. (He's a former Bruin, so this one's for Jessica. I thought she should know her fellow alums are delivering.)

Malcolm Butler

Simple and great.

Dewayne Dedmon

He looks nice, and also like he should maybe relaunch The Love Boat.

Gus Kenworthy and Matthew Wilkas

Gus became the first action sport athlete to come out -- he's a freestyle skiier -- and I love that he brought his boyfriend. It's nice to remember that the world is still changing for the better in some ways, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Dahntay Jones

He looks totally normal. His wife's dress is... frightening.

Peyton Manning

"Hi. I was America's QB1, and America's spokesman. Now I'm ready to be America's nerdy dad. See you on the dance floor. I will be whipping my hair."

Scott Hamilton

Ending on a smile. His figure skating commentary may have been too positive and not analytical enough, but dammit, I dare you not to smile along with him.

Fugs and Fabs: The Dudes of the ESPYs

Craig Sager, the beloved and vibrantly clad sports announcer, has been battling cancer on and off, with bouts of remission, until he was told in March that he had 3-6 months to live. He accepted the Jimmy V Award at the ESPYs last night, noting that he's going to be "sucking the marrow out of life as life sucks the marrow out of me." “You try to live a lifetime of moments in three weeks, but then you say, ‘The hell with three weeks!’ ” Sager said of his reaction to hearing his diagnosis, adding: “Time is something that cannot be bought, it cannot be wagered with God, and it is not in endless supply. Time is simply how you live your life.” And here is the famous 1993 Jimmy V speech, after whom the award itself is now named; he died of cancer less than two months after this moment. He encourages us to laugh, think, and cry every day: "That's a heck of a day." His speech may make you do all three.