Kylie Jenner in Balmain
Wow. She looks like a Seussian Marching Band's lead baton twirler. Those pants are a private infection waiting to happen.
Zendaya in Chanel
I am not totally sure what to say about this. Her face is amazing. She's even kind of working that lemon Chanel coat. But I feel like knee wrinkles in your jeans are challenging, and... shit, now I want some lemon meringue.
Jaime King in Dior
I don't completely understand THIS, either. As a garment, it's confusing. But in the strangest way, she's also selling it. And as I'm mentally scanning all of Dior's usuals -- J.Law, Cotillard, Charlize, Kate Mara, Natalie Portman -- I'm not sure any of them would have worked in this at ALL, so maybe Dior found its correct target here.
Hailey Baldwin
Shoot, do I have to start paying attention to Hailey Baldwin now? Well, fortunately, next time I have a migraine I won't be able to see her, as I believe this outfit is camouflage for headache sufferers.
Mallory Jansen
Mallory is in "Galavant," and she's TREMENDOUS in it, which is why that disco crackstorm of a shirt is chafing my aura. Let's go in for a close-up...
Mallory Jansen
Look how pretty she is. And now LOOK at that shirt. Everyone knows you don't flatten your burger patties on the grill! THE JUICES RUN OUT! DON'T DO IT!
Rose Rollins
Rose is in "The Catch," and... like most of the supporting players in that show, she's okay. But she's LOVELY and I like her dress, so those are two resounding positives.
Joey King
I find your high-waisted chambray Bermuda shorts disturbing. [/Vader]
Alexandra Park
You might recognize Alexandra from "The Royals" on E, and if you do, did you keep watching? Because I bailed after season one, although that wasn't her fault. Anyway, she looks pretty but this needs -- yes -- a hoik or two. Shorten those straps.
Jillian Rose Reed
"GIRRRRLS," said Blanche. "I met the most INTERESTING gentleman at my bridge group. Get the cheesecake."
Gugu Mbatha-Raw
If only my face would do that. By which I mean: rearrange itself into her likeness.