Naomi Campbell
Naomi's lace choker appears to be holding her head on, and the hat makes her look as if half said head has been shorn off; the dress is great but I'm worried the rest of her just slunk out of American Horror Story.
Mel B
I rather appreciate that Mel B's neckpiece seems to have snaked up her aforementioned neck to come to its final resting place on her head.
Tyson Beckford
I'm certainly buying what he's selling. Whatever you want to sell me, Tyson.
Jennifer Hawkins
Jennifer Hawkins is, among other things, the host of Australia's Next Top Model, and she rather looks as if she's wearing an ANTM challenge.
Jiordan Tolli
Jiordan Tolli played someone called "Lolly Allen" on Neighbours SINCE SHE WAS 2 MONTHS OLD, which is amazing, and I suspect her dress is adorable even if she is wearing an Elizabethan mourning ruff on her head. (The role was then taken over by Adelaide Kane, who is currently wearing period-inappropriate hair as Mary, Queen of Scots on Reign, who won it in a competition, and who had her contact NOT renewed before she even appeared on the show, which is likewise quite a story.) This character burned her house down with fireworks, leading to this amazing sentence on her Wiki page: "A writer for the BBC said Lolly's most notable moment was 'Being caught in a burning house.'" That's like the bitchiest sounding thing in the world, even if it wasn't intended bitchily.
Ashleigh Albanese
This woman won the Best Dressed Regular Person At the Race Award -- I am quite sure that's the official title -- and she does indeed look charming. I wish I had a shot of the entire look, but I think we can rest assured that she doesn't have, like, two parrots on in place of shoes.
Pia Miller
It seems Pia Miller has also been on Neighbours, but I think something like 20% of the Australian population has been on Neighbours, right? She's also portrayed the role of "Attractive Woman" on something called Wonderland and is a model and HER HAT IS INSANE.
Emma Freedman
Emma is a TV weather presenter and her father is a very famous horsetrainer. I like this THEORETICALLY quite a lot, but I wish the pants were different -- either slimmer OR wider.
Rebecca Judd
Rebecca Judd is an Aussie WAG and honestly, this is awesome. I wish more pregnant celebs would go in this sort of weirdo, constructed direction. (She is apparently notorious for wearing this red dress to the 2004 Brownlows, and we're at a Lady Gaga level of Nudity Normalcy that I can't even bat an eye at it.)
Lara Bingle
Wiki tells me that Bingle is: "television personality who is best known for appearing in the 2006 Tourism Australia advertising campaign So Where the Bloody Hell Are You?" which sounds amazing. I look forward to the sequel, "What the Bloody Hell Is On Your Face, Dude?"
Poppy Delavingne
She is wearing a doily and yet I think it works.
Around Victoria Derby Day
This is just a random hat -- well, "headpiece" -- on a random person, but it's rather awesome.
Around Victoria Derby Day
Ditto. She's an asterisk!