Kim Kardashian

This outfit, for example, is insane on any person, regardless of the level of uterine occupancy, unless that person is at Jane Austen Camp.

Kim Kardashian

This is giving the entire cast of Dynasty involuntary flashbacks right now.

Kim Kardashian

That's a perfectly fine white skirt (although those half-plastic shoes, which EVERYONE is STILL wearing, are my nemeses right now), but I hate the stale nightgown she's tucked into it.

Kim Kardashian

Okay, and that actually IS lingerie. Kan we look forward to a line of Kardashian Kamisoles for Ksears?

Kim Kardashian

I guess Kim is really having a lace moment right now? LaLa Vasquez is back there, all, "Hello? Does anyone see me back here? I'M FLASHING MY BRA AT YOU PLEASE LOOK AT ME ME ME ME."

Kim Kardashian

This outfit is fine, though -- she looks business-chic. I can hang with this. Actually, this is the kind of stuff I would love to wear while pregnant, because the rest of the time I am too self-conscious about my abs for snug pencil skirts. I wish I'd taken more advantage of the freeing aspects of having a bump.

Kim Kardashian

Other than the stole, which looks like she ganked a royal guard's hat and sliced it up, I like this outfit too. THOSE SHOES AGAIN, though. Are they the only heels that fit her feet right now, or something? SURELY a girl can get a hookup SOMEWHERE for some variety.

Kim Kardashian, Kanye West

"Y'ALL I LOVE MY GIRL IN A SUIT BUT LET ME TELL YOU THE TRUTH: I NEVER THOUGHT I'D WANT TO BOOT ALL THESE CAMERAS THAT ALWAYS SHOOT, BUT THIS CONSTANT HOT PURSUIT MAKES ME WANT TO GO RE-ROUTE MY ENTIRE LIFE BUT NOW THAT'S MOOT BECAUSE THAT'S MY BABY IN HER SUIT OF ZOOT. SHE MADE ME TIRED OF CAMERAS, Y'ALL, AND THAT IS CRAZY LIKE THE HAIR COMMAS ON OUR GUARD'S FACE."

Kim Kardashian

I'm not sure why her skirt needs a cape. I mean, presumably, part of the reason is that otherwise it's too short and so to protect the Babye Portal she needed a sanitary extension. The other option, though, would be WEARING SOMETHING ELSE.

Kim Kardashian

Well, I like the jacket. But babye or not, nobody needs a giant diamond encircling the region of her privates.

Kim Kardashian

I like the leather look.

Kim Kardashian

I am NOT wild about her taking what appears to be an American Apparel sweatshirt and then gluing the remnants of an old costume-shop jewelry case to it.

Kim Kardashian

This dress just confuses the hell out of me. The blazer must be hiding something weird about the top, which I guess is a smart move, but what we need to discuss for REAL is the other side...

Kim Kardashian

Why the twin parabolic cutouts? It's like the skirt version of a Fu Manchu mustache.

Fugs and Fines: Katching Up With Kim Kardashian's Maternity Wear

I hate that tabloids are making fun of Kim's pregnant body. It's bad form even if she isn't pregnant, but doubly so because she is. That is douchey in the extreme -- not least because, while people have no control over how they gain weight anyway, women who are gestating ESPECIALLY do not get a say. I've been there; I'm sympathetic to watching your body create weird new shapes, and when you're curvy to begin with, it's going to surprise you even more. You grow how you grow, so to make someone feel like she isn't ripening with child in the way that you had hoped and imagined is the height of suckitude. A BABY IS IN THERE TRYING TO GET BIGGER. Leave her body alone. (Mark my words, it's all going to make her SO freaked out that it will lead to a cover story eight weeks after the birth about Kim's "inspirational" story of losing 40 pounds in six weeks via some crackpot regimen of QuickTrim and twice-daily workouts and cutting out chewable food, which the story will attempt to imply is actually reasonable, and that we should all expect to drop baby weight that fast, which: No). But Kim is trying so aggressively hard to get through this gestation period while being Fashionable with a capital F -- or, you know, her version of Fashionable -- that it's hard to ignore her outfits, because she often ends up right back in her usual non-pregnant neighborhood of Fugly. Some of this stuff is fine and some of it is hilarious and some of it, like the above, is pure WTF. You can leave the body alone while still scratching your head at what's covering it, and that is the line we aim to walk: focusing on the clothes that would be just as crazy on any living, breathing human, regardless of what's happening in the womb. So let's DO THIS. Gently, and with the right balance of empathy and emphatic nos. [Photos: WENN, Pacific Coast News]