Cara Delevingne
At her circus, she's not just the ringmaster, she's the NuvaRingmaster. Because, safety first.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Balmain
I actually might love this. It's so long and sleek and disco in the best way. Yeah, you can't see her feet, and YEAH, it's a jumpsuit, but... tell me that doesn't look fabulous on her. NAB, and such, but it's a win. ESPECIALLY when you consider what's coming.
Selena Gomez
Whereas this shiny old thing is the boring and unimaginative and not terribly flattering form of jumpsuit. NAY. NAY I SAY.
Miranda Kerr in Emilio Pucci
From a brothel's rotting archive straight to her body.
Carine Roitfeld
TAKE ME NOW, LORD.
Ciara in Givenchy
Ciara ALSO seems amenable to being rescued. That thing is a dumpy Dracula sack, and Givenchy should be ashamed.
Leigh Lezark
I blame Carine Roitfeld for all of this. Her penchant for transparent black outfits precedes her and now semi-rando NYC semi-DJ Leigh Lezark is just sucking up, right?
Kim Kardashian in Givenchy
These pants are totally her attempt to overcorrect from the transparent lace ones of a few days ago. They are dowdy and awful, and the proportions of this outfit make her look squat, which cannot have been the intent. Then again, I think her chief intent was BOOBS so maybe she doesn't care about the rest, including the fact that she's wearing a barometer on her lapel. Chance of rain: Excellent, in the spiritual sense.
Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton
Do we think they resent having to look up at Kim Kardashian from their spot on the fame list, considering that they were around before Kim and also kind of helped MAKE Kim by associating with her?
Olivia Palermo
I can't ever really explain why Olivia Palermo goes to things. She was a socialite (and not a popular one, from what was implied back in the day when anyone in NYC cared about such things), and then she was a villainess on "The Hills" who "worked at Elle" because she had great taste in accessories, and now she's a front-row staple for no real reason. Usually I ignore her, except when her accessories game is on point - which with her it FREQUENTLY is -- but this whole outfit was too bizarre to pass up. She looks like Miss Havisham after she substitute-taught a kindergarten class.
Justin Bieber
"My proportions are janky but my love is pure."
Justin Bieber
Is that cotton swath just to cover the fact that his pants probably ride lower than the ocean floor?