Chloe Sevigny
I mean, Chloe actually looks GOOD. Not even good by comparison. I'm shocked they let her in looking that sane. Maybe she was just one of the 33 people who got free passes for guessing correctly what "T.L.O.P." stood for. Parenthetically, "T.L.O.P." is the worst album title ever. Among other things, if it sucks OR tanks, you are BEGGING for a headline that says, "T.L.O.P. is F.L.O.P."
Karlie Kloss
Karlie was there, meaning she got to hear a lyric in which Kanye actually says he and Taylor Swift "could still have sex" followed up with "I made that bitch famous." KANYE. You have GOT to COOL IT. Your gross is showing. (Austin Swift posted an Instagram that night of him throwing out his new Yeezy sneakers.)
Anyway, I'm sure Karlie found that extremely moving. Actually, Karlie probably LAUGHED and was like, "Taylor is going to sell another hundred million albums off this." In other news, Karlie is wearing heinous skirt-leg pants -- or maybe pants with a cape? -- that I hope Austin Swift next uses to tie to a stack of Kanye's albums and parachute them out a high window into the sea somewhere.
Karlie Kloss
Those are so nutty. She is wearing more fabric one one leg than any of the models wore on their entire bodies.
Jaime King
Of all the reasons to object to this, and there are MANY (like, say, that it's too on-point to go to the home of the Knicks dressed as a basketball hoop), the one that leaps out at me most is: IT WAS SO COLD AND WINDY TODAY. It's WAY TOO FRIGID FOR THIS OUTFIT. She is going to get frost-bitten someplace extremely personal.
Charli XCX
She ALSO looks relatively normal. Both by her standards AND by Kanye's.
Pete Wentz and Rosie O'Donnell
Let us call this guest list "eclectic," shall we?
Jennifer Hudson
If I had tickets to "The Color Purple" on Thursday and I found out J.Hud took the night off to go to this insane shitshow, I'd be like, "COULD YOU NOT JUST STREAM IT BACKSTAGE INSTEAD?"
Lil' Kim
I barely even recognize her face anymore. That's not even a renovation; that's knocking it down and doing a whole new build.
MC Hammer
Hammer. Please. You are 2 legit for this.