Martha Stewart
In my mind, at this moment she is speak-singing, "Baby. Baby. Baby. OOOH," in that wonderful flat affect of hers.
Justin Bieber and Martha Stewart
Is she laughing because he's ridiculous, because she has no idea why she agreed to this, because she's tipsy, because she fancies him in an innocuous way, or because of his face? I vote all of the above.
Justin Bieber
At least his suit more or less fits, and when he smiles in a sincere way, he almost looks like a real human person.
Justin Bieber
And then this happens, and it's like, "Nope." Listen, kid. Not every man is meant to grow facial hair. Some, like Huck from "Scandal," have acres and acres of follicles that erupt with mighty hair-oaks. And then some look like a desert, with one tumbleweed blowing through there and getting caught in the sand. It's okay. It's not a character flaw. JUST SHAVE IT. YOUR LIP HOLDS NO HAIRY JOYS FOR YOU.
Chrissy Teigen
I know it's Comedy Central, but there is something sort of creepy to me about going full Thighs Out in celebration of a person turning... twenty-one. I know he's old enough to drink now and everything, and she's actually not THAT much older than he is, but... I don't know. He will always be a plaintive little tween to me, so I can't stop being creeped out by the idea of feting him in ANY kind of sexualized garb.
Kate Walsh
I MEAN. Why are we getting our bras out for Bieber? IT'S BIEBER.
Kate Walsh and Katharine McPhee
"I see you didn't walk the red carpet, Kat."
"You are goddamn right I didn't, Kate."
Ashley Benson
This ALSO feels like a weird choice. I would think youthfully insouciant would work for her here. A bright pattern, for sure, and even maybe a crop-top if done correctly. This just looks like she's going to a wedding at which she expects there to be poisoning.
Carly Rae Jepsen
... It's better than her rompers, anyway. And THIS at least feels like something one wears to a self-congratulatory and strange Comedy Central event.
Martha Stewart
I just suddenly realized you needed confirmation that Martha was not wearing bike shorts.
Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg
"This interesting man grows a WONDERFUL herb garden."
Natasha Leggero
I don't even want to know. SIT DOWN.
Pete Davidson
This looks like what Bieber would have worn a year ago.
Jaden Smith
I have gazed upon this at length and concluded that I THINK this is a backpack? And not, say, an aborted attempt at overalls? MAYBE?
Shaquille O'Neal
"What can I say about Justin Bimberlake... he's really -- wait, what? Justin ... what? What's a 'bieber'? Hell, people, you need to be clearer on your invitations. I had a whole Dick in the Box routine set up and I am NOT going through with it for that kid."
Will Ferrell/Ron Burgundy
"My mortgage payment is THIS BIG."
Justin Bieber
He pretended at this point to be reunited with his pet monkey - the one that got confiscated, or whatever. I know it's irresponsible not to look up the particulars, but y'all, I can't look up "Justin Bieber Monkey." I just ... can't.
Justin Bieber
He seems to have enjoyed himself, though, and apologized at the end for being a dink the last few years. This whole thing was clearly to try and make people like him again -- figuring that everyone loves a person with a sense of humor about themselves. And of course, when you REALLY want to be taken seriously, Comedy Central is where you go. Bonus points for the kicky socks, though, I guess? I have to give him something, because the sideburns are stabbing me in the frontal lobe.