The Coronation Festival Royal Preview

AHEM, per Getty Images, in this photo: "Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (C) [no kidding! - J]prepares to leave the Summer House in the grounds of Buckingham Palace on the first day of the Coronation Festival...The Coronation Festival, which is held in the grounds of Buckingham Palace and runs until July 14, 2013, celebrates the 60th anniversary of The Queen's Coronation. The event, hosted by the Royal Warrant Holders Association, showcases British design, technology, entertainment, food and drink." Obviously, that sounds fun. One of you go have some food and drink and report back! I like seeing the Queen in a print.

Queen Elizabeth, Charles, and Camilla

But not as much as I love seeing her in a golf cart.

Queen Elizabeth enters The Mirrored House during the Coronation Festival

Or eyeballing a chair.

The Coronation Festival - Evening Gala

And here she is at the evening gala portion, looking DELIGHTED. She has looked delighted so much more often since William married Kate. It must be a tremendous relief to know that the public is all into you again.

Sophie Wessex

Oh God. Camilla's habit of popping out dressed as a feathery bird creature may be contagious.

The Royal Box

Cams might, in fact, be wearing her nightgown here. I do think that Prince Charles, however, looks rather dashing in that suit. The Queen is OVER THEM. "When is that baby coming," she wonders, along with the rest of the world. "I WANT TO SEE IT."

Pippa Middleton and James Middleton

In Kate's (and William and Harry's, far as I could tell) absence, the Middletons got bumped up to the Royal Box. Can we talk about how SURREAL THAT WOULD BE? Additionally, I rather like ol' Pips in this dress, and I think we ought to talk more about James Middleton, who is very handsome and runs a cake making company. The Middleton fam Wikipedia noted that, at the wedding, Pippa was "maid of honour and James read the lesson." I misread that, of course, as "James LEARNED HIS lesson," and I thought, "oooh, what juicy scandal is this?!!" The juicy scandal is that the Fug Girl Can't Read.

Princess Eugenie

Eug is borrowing Kate's wedges (wisely, since she's walking on grass). I've decided that Eugenie is actually much prettier than you think she is -- not that I think that you think she's heinous or anything -- and it's easier to tell this when she isn't wearing some wacky hat. All that being said, I feel this whole look is a wee half-assed. Maybe like 3/4ths assed.

Fugs, Fabs and Fines of Various Royals and Royal-Adjacents at the Queen's Coronation Festivals

There have been a LOT of celebrations of the Queen this year! I am not begrudging her Madj any of her many parties, I'm just pointing this out. Note: rumor has it (and by rumor, I mean the Daily Mail) Kate almost made a surprise appearance at this event because she's feeling so good, and I think I speak for all of us when I say, "that's great, now HAVE THAT BABY." I've had a rough couple of weeks and the only cure is Royal Baby Fever. Or maybe Prince Harry (who didn't seem to attend this event, probably because he's off getting into trouble somewhere). [Photos: Getty]