Cassie

I would love to know what football team she thinks she's playing for. The Kaiserdom Bagaloons?

Cassie

Apparently at another event, she traded the pantapurses for a denim mini and boots, and then some S&M wrist cuffs and a jacket with what look like zip-off eyebrows ripped from the face of a very old English demi-royal.

Cassie

Is she kidding us with this?

Cassie

Hey Cassie, here's fun: When you're going out of the house, look at yourself in the mirror and wonder, "Did Miley Cyrus do this first?" If the answer is yes, then lock yourself inside the house for three days.

Cassie

And I think Juliette Lewis did THIS first.

Cassie

And Aria on Pretty Little Liars did all of this, at various times. And this outfit, I'm pretty sure NO ONE HAS ATTEMPTED EVER, or at least, not recently enough for my brain to have started piecing together my fractured memories. Why is that photograph not in our subscription, so that I can bring it to you in larger terrifying glory? Why is she dressed like a traffic cone that gives lap dances? And why did she take the time to iron creases into her pants, but not put on A SHIRT? WHY WTF ZOMG.

Cassie

I don't think anyone has done this before. But it does puncture my theory that Whimsical Glasses are your ticket to Fug Freedom. HONEY. Your hair may be an even bigger problem than Cammy's, but at least your wardrobe is keeping Diddy confused enough to stick around and see how this ends. If you're sure that's what you want. Maybe you could just... TRY a nice dress every once in a while? Forgive me for pulling out "You're such a pretty girl," but come on! You're SUCH A PRETTY GIRL.

Fugsie

What's going on with this lady? And I don't just mean that she's allegedly Diddy's longtime girlfriend despite the fact that every other week Us claims Cameron Diaz was giving him a lapdance at some party. Although that's certainly plenty strange, I don't think it's as weird as wearing pants made of Chanel handbags. Or as the outfit that wasn't in our subscription, but which I linked to on slide six, which turned my brain into porridge. [Photos: Getty, WENN, FameFlynet]