Katie Price

I don't even hate her outfit (and can't help but notice that her skirt length is, for Katie, practically Amish in its modesty). But honey, your roots and your skin color ARE NOT THAT FAR APART. THAT IS INSANE.

Katie Price

The flash is even kind of blowing out her face and she STILL looks crazy, crazy, CRAZY TAN. AND THAT HAIR. WHAT. IS EVERY SLIDE HERE GOING TO END IN CAPS?

Katie Price

There are malls in the town of Stereotype, New Jersey, who would kick that out for being too hideous. REQUISITE CAPS.

Katie Price

I CAN'T EVEN. CAPSY DISBELIEF.

Fugtie Price

Katie Price, Katie Price, Katie Price. Remember, this is a woman who once had an alter-ego named Jordan, dresses up like a pink Wonder Woman to hawk everything from kids' books to her fragrance, is a secretly serviceable equestrian, and announced on TV that she won't wear a skirt longer than nine inches TOTAL. So when you look at a woman like that and you think, "OMG, Katie Price, WHAT IS UP WITH YOU," then you know things have gone to hell in a picnic basket.