YEEZY AND KEEZY
THAT WILL TEACH ME TO BUY CHEAP BELTS. I ONLY SPENT FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS SO IT'S NO BIG THING IF IT SUCKS, ALTHOUGH THIS WAS LAME-ASS LUCK. I WONDER IF I SHOULD DUCK. OR HIDE BEHIND A TRUCK. BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA IF I CAN GET THESE UP AGAIN. F*CK. MAYBE NOBODY NOTICED. MAYBE THE GAZERS' NOSY EYE-LAZERS ARE STARING AT MY BLAZER AND NOT AT MY THIGH-GRAZER. ALTHOUGH IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD TOTALLY STARE AT ME, SO LET'S ASSUME EVERYONE IS LOOKING.
YEEZY AND KEEZY
I WONDER WHAT TO DO. DO I YANK THEM UP HIGH AND PRETEND THAT MY THIGH DIDN'T JUST GET ME SPIED LOOKING WAY LESS THAN FLY, OR CLAIM THAT WE TOOK A RIDE ON THE INSIDE LIKE THIS PHOTO IMPLIED? SHOULD I WINK AND LET THEM THINK THAT WE HAD SOME VEHICULAR KINK? MY EMOTIONS ARE SO TANGLED. MY NERVES ARE MANGLED. MY SPIRIT IS JANGLED BUT AT LEAST NOTHING DANGLED BECAUSE IT'S PROPERLY WRANGLED. DEAL WITH IT, AMERICA, YOU ALMOST GOT KANYE WANGLED. AND MY BANNER IS STAR-SPANGLED, SO WHAT THE HELL, EVERYONE ELSE GETS NAKED HERE SO WHY NOT ME? AHEM, KIM."
YEEZY AND KEEZY
HAHAHA, HONEY, I'M JUST PLAYING. I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX TAPE EVEN THOUGH IT WAS REALLY GOOD. BUT HONESTLY, TOMMY LEE AND PAMELA ANDERSON DID IT BETTER AND I JUST HAD TO SAY IT BECAUSE YOURS WAS NICELY LIT AND ALL, BUT THEIRS WAS THE BEST SEX TAPE IN THE WORLD AND THEY REALLY DESERVE THE CREDIT. OKAY, LET'S GO INSIDE AND CUT ALL THE JEST 'CAUSE THE WEST HAS BEEN RE-DRESSED. NO SURPRISE SPECIAL GUEST, NO PEEK AT MY ZEST, NO POTENTIAL SAUSAGE FEST, ALTHOUGH IF WE HAD ONE YOU WOULD LOVE IT BECAUSE I MAKE A MEAN BRATWURST, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING. AND WHAT I'M SAYING IS, I LIKE TO COOK. WHICH YOU WOULD KNOW IF YOU BOTHERED TO GET TO KNOW ME. MAN, Y'ALL ARE SHALLOW."