We of course open on something hilarious.
Listen, Brad Pitt, if you're going to win an Oscar -- and it seems you are -- then please do it in briefs.
Vanessa Hudgens?
I'm not enamored of this jacket, but the skirt is BEAUTIFUL. I wonder if it's a dress underneath.
I am, however, DEVASTATED J.Lo won't be wearing this on Oscar night.
I predict whoever wears this will ONLY line it with a tube top and some hotpants.
This might be fun on Rachel Brosnahan?
Klum?
I'd kind of like to see Phoebe Waller-Bridge rock that pink.
OH WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN, JENNIFER. This might be magnificent? Give it to Fiona Xie when the Crazy Rich Asians sequel comes out.
Chalamalalalalamet!
This is just your basic beautiful safe option that someone will choose, and hopefully accessorize awesomely.
Tessa Thompson?
Oooh. I think... I think this would dominate Emilia Clarke. What about one of the Riverdale ladies? Lili Reinhart, maybe.
I just want Kate Beckinsale to wear this EXACTLY as it is.
J Lo would also have rocked that.
And, frankly, that.
AND THAT. This isn't directional enough for Saoirse, but she'd look good in it too. It'd match her eyes.
This is so pretty. Danai Gurira?
Reader, I laughed.
Reader, I am still laughing.
How we got from THAT to this, which is a very Elie Saab scenario, I do not know. It's pretty. It seems like... Camila Mendes at a post-party.
Thomasin McKenzie of Jojo Rabbit.
GET IT, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES.
Oh wow. Scarlett Johansson? It's not really what I expect from her, but that might make it work. You could also give it to Elle Fanning, maybe. Or Naomie Harris when that next Bond flick comes out?
Eva Green
Amazing. Let's give The Crown's Erin Doherty some fun sparkle.
Priyanka?
Selena Gomez
Sarah Paulson
Lady Gaga might look cool in that.
