GOOP, RDJ
GWYNETH: Did it ever occur to you that the Germans might not appreciate you making fun of lederhosen?
RDJ: No. I'm Robert Downey, Jr. People love EVERYTHING I do. Costume pants with some kind of chastity chain and the upper half of a very sassy aviator turned Official Summer Camp Illusionist? Ja, darling. When we go to Japan I might dress like a Geisha. When we go to Moscow, I'm going full Gorbachev. In France, I will wear a guillotine. In Britain, I will be the pub from EastEnders, and then call myself from a phone booth costume. And they will all embrace me as a lovable scamp.
GWYNETH: Must be nice.
RDJ: It is my blessing AND MY CURSE.
RDJ
"It requires so much ENERGY. Look at me bounding into rooms."
RDJ
"Look at me posing like I'm Lassie and I just smelled a boy down a well."
RDJ
"Look at me being infused by the spirit of German merriment."
RDJ
"Look at the cut of my jib as I dance a jaunty jig."
RDJ
"Look at me seeking something, in this case, someone who will come out with me and have some fun so that I can relax from being a mad clown locked in a humor trunk of my own making."
RDJ
"It's EXHAUSTING. But what can I do? It's like you said, I'm two parts Richard Simmons, one part Robin Williams, a dash of Javier Bardem's mystery and Jeffrey Dean Morgan's Robert Downey Jr.-ness, which is confusingly reflexive, and sprinkled with that boy scout from Up. I am a slave to this cocktail. Which is better than me being a slave to actual cocktails, so let's just go with it, GOOPenheimer, or else it's going to be A REALLY LONG PRESS TOUR."