That's actually very delicate and lovely, but also maybe overwhelming. I could see it working on Lily Collins, who has that Snow White look but with the strong eyebrows that won't let her get overshadowed. The little ribbon is goofy, like she just got pinned by Colonel Sanders.
SWEET PEACHY BEJEESUS WHAT IS HAPPENING. I think part of this outfit is kidnapping the rest of it.
GIAMBATTISTA VALLI AW1718 - Look04
This solves the mystery of why the other ribbon is there on slide 2. It's actually holding together a cummerbund that I hadn't noticed. It looks like a giantess's garter.
This has gone off the rails so much faster than I expected.
I can live with this. I feel like Chloe Sevingny should wear it in its entirety.
ANOTHER Crouching Ribbon, Hidden Cummerbund. And on a pretty dress that probably doesn't need it.
The lady who wears this keeps a pearl-handled pistol tucked into her stockings.
I'm just going to stop MENTIONING the giant belt-garters (not to be confused with garter belts). They're probably going to be on most of the outfits. This dress, again, does not need it. It's so dramatic without. Selena Gomez would look great giving this a twirl.
I could see Dakota Johnson giving this floaty-Goth mash-up a twirl.
That's very red.
I'm going Bella Thorne on this one. Except for how she'd probably cut the midriff out.
Just send it to Joan Collins RIGHT NOW. Don't even wait for her to ask.
This is graceful; I wonder if someone will put THIS blouse with the skirt on Slide 1.
MORE COATS. Although all the studding feels very much like a late glue-gun urge.
Someone will SO attempt that little tank top with nothing under it.
We maybe didn't need a short version of the red coat. This is filler.
GIAMBATTISTA VALLI AW1718 - Look18
We're cooking with gas here, though. Ruth Negga could sell the sleeves, but I'm not sure the rest of it screams her name. Maybe... Naomie Harris Goes To Cannes?
More filler.
Hmm. Hailee Steinfeld? She'd keep the boots.
This coat is brought to you by the letter V.
Well, you can't say this collection isn't cohesive. We've seen all these elements elsewhere, and now they are fused.
I'm sorry: Nike running tights on a high-fashion Paris runway? Is that a sign of the apocalypse?
WHERE ARE MY DREAMY GOWNS? I JUST WANT TO ESCAPE INTO A PILE OF SOMETHING FLUFFY.
WHAT THE EFF. Apparently this was a surprise cameo and Giambattista Valli just thinks lots of people own leggings, so he wanted to make this look like someone threw on their finery after a trip to the gym. And then cooed that no one makes leggings better than Nike. No, seriously. (That article makes a funny assertion that these looks evoke "off-duty Hadids," except of course there is no such thing as an off-duty Hadid.)
Those are ALSO pants and I do not like them, but I infinitely prefer them to a couturier using OVER-THE-COUNTER LEGGINGS.
LE SIGH.
Cate Blanchett or bust.
That thing is very tactile. I'm not sure I could wear it without patting myself all day.
Okay, that jacket is cute, though.
That fabric is so pretty. This will surely be one of the first ones to hit the scene.
I mean... I guess strawberries are coming back in season?
I quite like that blouse.
She looks like she is being turned inside out.
That bodice is starting to turn into something very pretty. Her arms appear to have fallen prey to a witch's hex.
I mean... no. Unless you are a smuggler. But even then people will know exactly where to pat you down.
Shrug.
Cosy!
Is this some kind of Willy Wonka line where you can lick the strawberries and it's like a satisfying dessert?
!!!!!!!
Could this be pretty, or am I experiencing a version of Stockholm Syndrome?
This is like cloth armor over a nightgown. It's so Cannes.
You guys, I don't even like strawberries that much.
I am running out of things to say. Someone just told me that Diet Coke and wine is an actual drink in Spain, so obviously I was born in the wrong place.
We have a REALLY good giveaway coming later this week. If you made it this far in the slideshow, then CONGRATULATIONS, you have gotten this little tidbit.
Now I just want to go play some slot machines.
