J.Lo in Valentino
"HOLA LOVERS. You are welcome. Because I went home with no trophy, but I got you a present anyway and I spent eight hours wrapping it and now I look like I am a Lexus on Christmas morning. HOW NICE TO BE YOU."
Gwyneth Paltrow in Fendi
Gwyneth is messing with us, right? She has to be. She hardly ever comes on the red carpet, and every time they showed her, she looked like she was laughing and thinking, "YEP, THAT'S RIGHT, I DID THIS." But... Laughing at your own hideous dress doesn't change the fact that you are in a hideous dress. And if she LOVED this dress, good for her and I hope she had a whale of a night in it, but it's MAYBE the most hideous thing Fendi has ever designed. It looks like a dead Christmas tree that someone forgot to take out of their house.
You know, the coyness would be MORE amusing if this hadn't been done at every single event of the LAST decade.
Taylor Swift in Etro
Taylor is the last cat standing, the only one left out there making appearances on behalf of Feline Ishtar. She did not win. She looked, honestly, thrilled about it. I mean, yes, that's what you do, and she lost to Elton, but Beyonce did not look happy to lose to Elton, so I think it's possible Taylor legit was just happy to be nominated and then get out of there without any further reminders of the whole Cats experience. HOWEVER, she gave us something else to talk about with this gown, and it IS really cool. I could have done without the keyhole, but its a small nit; the fabric is just so pretty.
Jodie Comer in Mary Katrantzou
I laughed out loud when I saw this. Jodie went full Noted Kook -- it feels a little Olivia Colman Jr, actually, in a way; it's cross between OC's Oscars gown and the one she is wearing on the next slide -- and I appreciate her for it even if I think this is objectively a terrible sack. Her purse is giving it life.
Olivia Colman in Emilia Wickstead
This would have been better if the seam was at her natural waist, right? I don't know why it's raised; it makes the fit look off.
ScarJost in Vera Wang
I am deeply gleeful that I can also call her/them ScarJost if she does indeed marry Colin Jost. It's just a good portmanteau. ScarJost was a double nominee on this night, and she did not hold back the jewels nor on her skirt, which I appreciate. I am not a fan of that neckline in general, but everything does seem to fit correctly, at least? I have problems with her as a person, thanks to specific remarks, but I can't pretend aspects of this don't work.
ScarJost
Fit and precision have not been recent hallmarks of Vera Wang, so it's noteworthy at least for them that this seems to have checked those boxes.
Da'Vine Joy Randolph
She's from Dolemite Is My Name, and seemed delighted to be on-stage presenting and just generally at the party, which was such a lovely antidote to Ricky Gervais's tired old shtick of "I don't care, whatever, this is terrible." I applaud her for going GIGANTIC with her first major red carpet, and I enjoy this on her, and the fact that she's got a big slit there but isn't Jolie'ing her leg through it to the point of hip dislocation.
Isla Fisher in Monique Lhuillier, with Sacha Baron Cohen
This is all... fine. At that point, SBC, I might've just gone all the way with some blue shoes. Isla's Lhuillier is fine but looks more like a repurposed idea from her bridal line, and perhaps one that needed to be either a smidge shorter or longer so that it wouldn't just tent like that.
Zoey Deutch in custom Fendi
This is apparently a jumpsuit? It was made for her, and thus QUITE a statement, as far as I'm concerned -- big sleeves, bigger pants, bright color, and the heart of the ocean's distant cousin around her neck. I really like the overall effect on her. The bling sells it.
Cate Blanchett in Mary Katrantzou
Nominating her for Where'd You Go, Bernadette?, is classic We Really Want Cate To Show Up And She's Not In Anything Else This Year So I Let's Just Do It Because We're Not a Real Organization Anyway; There's Only Like Twelve Of Us. I think the yellow parts are fascinating and beautifully executed, and the bodice is monster, and the two of them together make her look like an exotic sea creature. It's amazing that she looks as good as she does.
77th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 05 Jan 2020
It loses me from the back. That neck ribbon seems like it's there only to try and cover up how the dress fastens. And also to imperil her life.
Sandra Bullock in Oscar de la Renta
THIS felt big because I didn't know she was even going to be there, and then lo, she popped out at the end to present a big award -- the type of thing where you'd expect her to slink in wearing a low-key jumpsuit with maybe a bit of twinkle on the neckline, and instead she went full mustard can-can. I like it! It's fun on her.
Sofia Carson in Giambattista Valli
This is on brand. Literally. She always wears GV to things, and often, they are pink, and REALLY often they are huge and poofy. It's not at all my favorite of the ones she's picked, but she's good at knowing what she can carry. (She also may have been the winner of the First To Arrive award from last night.)
Dakota Fanning in custom Dior
I wasn't clued into what Dakota was there for -- I forgot she was in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- so when we saw her from above we wrote ELLE Fanning on our list. Because doesn't this dress scream Fanning the Younger? It's so Cinderella Has a New Color Story.
Kaitlyn Dever in Valentino
I love this cacophany of colors. As you'll see tomorrow, when we get to some of the weekend's events, Kaitlyn has REALLY been into wearing visible bra outfits lately, so I was delighted that this went in the other direction. (She was nominated for Unbelievable, which everyone should see.)
Billy Porter in Alex Vinash
Billy told Ryan that this is "a standing outfit, not a sitting outfit," so the train detached for the actual ceremony. News we can use! I like it, but I think having the shirt be a dramatic color might have been fun. It almost looks like he just tossed a random white button-down under there as opposed to it being curated.
Annette Bening
"Surprise! I, too, have tricks up my sleeves. By which I mean... sleeves up my sleeves."
Sarah Snook in Christian Siriano
This size of this isn't rendering in this photo - when she got up and got on-stage for Succession's win, I was like, "WOW, big skirt on a big night," so here she is. It needs a hoik, but it's a beautiful dress.
Janina Gavankar in Georges Chakra
Reader, I chortled. THIS HAS EVERYTHING. Lace! Sheers! Enormous sleeves! A sexy witch vibe! A journey of an Instagram story in which Janina was a) being sewn into it, b) brushing her teeth one last time in it, leaning way over the sink, and c) stressing in her limo because she forgot her tickets. She seems like a hoot. My only regret is that she didn't go full boar and wear the veil from the runway, but then she couldn't have EATEN any of the snacks she could stash in those floaties, and when the menu is vegan and the bar is open, you NEED your covert bra beef jerky and armpit cashews.
