Amanda Seyfried

First on my list of grievance was how unflattering this was to her pelvis. I swear, the pelvis is such a maligned body part by Hollywood stylists. It does all that hard work at the gym and then gets layered up by deluges of lace and froof and suddenly you can't even see what shape it is anymore. Poor pelvis.

Amanda Seyfried

I also really hated the diamond shape around the boobs, which looked like it was behind held together by a thirty-cent Goody barette from CVS. Your chest is not a baseball game, child, and your cleav is not the pitcher's mound. Let's not tempt anyone to run those bases.

Amanda Seyfried

She also had the same issue J.Lo did, with an exposed zipper on a nude-adjacent dress. This almost always makes even the costliest dress look cheaper, especially when they bubble up like that.

Amanda Seyfried

Is it weird that I didn't hate this, though? I'd like the skirt to fit a little better, but I love the disco blouse. A dark pedicure would've helped sell it. Then again, I always think that.

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Amanda Seyfried

Jessica and I only just realized that, despite both hating this dress, neither one of us had touched it yet. This happens every year. It's like our brains can't handle everything and shunt at least one major player to the side in an effort to spare us the mental strain. You almost got away from us, Seyfried, but our bullets are undodgeable. [Photo: Getty]