Paula Patton

I mean, that is hilariously wrong. Aaron Eckhart looks like he's trying really hard not to focus on whether half of his stage partner is erupting.

Paula Patton

I mean, if Kate's looked to me like a tiny sewn-in burp cloth, then what is this one supposed to catch? The vomit of every boozed-up celebrity in the room? The line forms to the left, and Affleck, McConaughey, Bisset, and possibly Emma Thompson are jockeying to be in front. Bless.

Paula Patton

Why does she never wear anything as pretty as her face is? That's the eternal question of Paula Patton. She should trap Amy Adams in the bathroom and beg her for her stylist's number.

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Paula Patton

When she came out in this, after we finished clapping and covering our eyes, Jessica turned to me and said, "This is like if the dress Kate Middleton wore to the christening took growth hormones." [Photos: Getty]