Eva Longoria
Angelina Jolie will pick up her Us Weekly soon and sigh, "How sweet."
Rachel Weisz
ASTOUNDING. Unless there was a fan contest to win the right to watch Daniel Craig rip off the dotty skirt with his teeth, this should not exist.
Giuliana Rancic
This sincerely might be the worst dress of the entire night. What you can't see here is what the TV exposed: The top looked so poorly made that I kept wondering if it had ripped open on during a particularly challenging mic-pack installation. I think hers is the least popular saloon in all of Deadwood.
Emma Roberts
Everything about this is terrible -- a classic case of, "You forgot the dress that goes on OVER it." I know what I just said about Giuliana Rancic, but actually, THIS might be my least-favorite of the night. Good thing for Emma that she wasn't on TV anywhere, although something tells me she might disagree with that.
Louise Roe
Louise here finally has something concrete on her resume: She's hosting season two of Fashion Star, the first go-round of which was as horrifying as this dress. Brace yourselves.
Shenae Grimes
Sigh. Her necklace is good, but why is her skirt a glorified side ponytail?
Helena Bonham Carter
Eight-hundred-ninety-fifth verse, same as the first.
Nicole Kidman
The top and bottom are fine, but they're being held together by MADNESS. I know it's called your rib cage, but you don't need an ACTUAL CAGE there to underscore it. Unless it is Nicolas Cage. Then I would sign off on it wholeheartedly. In fact, most dresses these days are missing giant pictures of Nic Cage on the abs.