Madonna
OUCH. For real, the longer the night wore on, the more off-color and swollen they looked. Maybe I imagined it, but... I really don't think I did. I think they were trying to tell us something. I think they were asking for help. Her boob veins throbbed in Morse code S.O.S.
Madonna
But.... am I crazy, or is the rest of this kind of neat? Madonna might look awesome. And not in her standard "Oh, MADONNA, you rapacious iron-bicep'd scamp" kind of way. It's probably tough to know what the hell to wear these days, if you're Madonna and you're known for pushing the envelope but you're also conscious of the fact that you're not 25 or even 35 (etc) anymore. This was a good pick.
The solo leather glove is hilariously random. In the '80s she wore a lot of fingerless gloves, so maybe she was just doing it as a shout-out to herself. However...
Madonna
These are more like a Michael Jackson homage, which is apt. Madonna IS bad. And she DOES know it.
Madonna
She also looks like she's at a matador's funeral.
Someone Tweeted us that she the glove thing might be because Madonna is trying to hide Old Lady hands. Please know I am neither calling Madonna a) an old lady, nor b) wrinkly. But it's a fact that she's over 50, and sometimes ladies over 50 get complexes about stuff, whether it's rational or not. I mean, isn't that what pays the bills of every Beverly Hills plastic surgeon? Hell, I am not Madonna's age, and I might ALREADY have Old Lady Hands. I get it. So that could be one theory. My other theory was that she likes to wear them in case she accidentally needs to MUUUURDER someone and doesn't want to leave a palm print (because, see, she burned off her fingerprints during a long orgy-fueled... eh, never mind).
Madonna
And these have that iconic interlocking C's Chanel logo, so maybe Madonna LOVES her hands, but just lost a very large bet with Karl Lagerfeld and her punishment is expansive. It's possible. And if true, it kills me that I couldn't be a fly on that wall. I'd even consent to be swatted, if required, just to get the good dish.