Melissa George
Come on now. This is just Grieving Sister-Wife With A Yen For Tomfoolery. It's HIDEOUS and sheer and there is nothing to recommend it AT ALL except the fact that it is not MORE sheer. YOU LOOK INSANE. IT'S SO AWFUL.
Zoe Kravitz
I can see the appeal of this one -- that gold sheath is very pretty and also very HER -- except for how the star of the outfit is not the designer's work, but her genetic makeup and some underpants. I don't know WHY you wear this, but at least it's not as full-throttle heinous as Melissa's, or the next one coming.
Whitney Port
Again: There are sheers that have their charms, and then there is this. STOP. (Remember when she wanted to be a fashion designer for like two seasons? I wonder what she is doing now. I'm guessing she really wants someone to ask her because NAKED HI OVER HERE CAN YOU SEE ME CAN YOU SEE MEE????)
Emmanuelle Vaugier
Whereas look how beautiful this is. In close-up, it might be an optical illusion that I can see her nips -- I THINK there is for sure one areola at play, at the very least? -- but she certainly wants me to BELIEVE I am seeing everything. So I don't know how naked this is truly, but it could be a lot LESS naked. The artistry gets lost.
Kelly Rowland
She is supposed to be more famous than this level of desperation! KELLY KELLY KELLY. That thing is committing horrible crimes against your boobs, among many other things. TRUST YOUR FACE SOMETIMES. It works.
Lady Victoria Hervey
This lady is always naked at these things. If she's ever clothed, please look out the window and check for locusts.
Masha Rudenko
This 26-year old woman is a model who, as of July, was allegedly dating Mick Jagger. Now she is working for Papa John's, delivering endless pizza to your door with almost no toppings on it.
Masha Rudenko
SO BAD. I need to know, seriously: Has this EVER worked? Has a person ever worn something like this to an awards show and received instant adoration and acclaim and career recognition and all the rest of it? Or is that not the point? If the point is to get phone numbers, then I'm sure it works fine, but can't she get those anyway? WHAT IS THE DEAL. WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BODY PANTY.
Bar Paly
This is not THAT naked, mercifully, but would also be much more striking if at LEAST the skirt slip went all the way down. I mostly just included her because parts of this are a palate cleanser from WHATEVER THAT WAS WE JUST SAW.
Kristina Bazan
This one is a blogger. I don't usually cover them, but it's on-theme, by dint of being so LOOK AT MEEEE.
Xosha Roquemore
This is such an easy Unfug: finish the skirt exactly as it began. I know everyone makes fun of Americans for being all pearl-clutchy over this stuff, but honestly, part if it is just my EYEBALLS. If you CAN look better, do it. Right?