Emilia Clarke in Valentino
Let's start with Emilia, though. This is, for me, a terrible mess (especially compared with the Valentino she got for Solo). It's just a huge tangle of floof with a semi-stalkerish quote stamped on the front ("Leave your door open for me, I might sleepwalk into your arms"). The runway version is a sheer top and shorts, and while it obviously did need lining, they chose the clumsiest way to do it. The gown underneath -- really, the strapless bodice -- only adds confusion and undercuts the vibe. It's hideous, but...
... the makeup might be the worst part.
Gwendoline Christie in Iris van Herpen
She looks INCREDIBLE in this. I had thought it was a floral pattern, but the more I look at her in front of those flames, the more the gown ITSELF feels like it's roiling golden fire.
Sophie Turner in Louis Vuitton
This is just... thoroughly not great. Sophie very loyally wears LV, but doesn't seem to benefit from any custom efforts, or at least not many. The bodice is a total womp-woooomp moment, and for this premiere, when she could have gone SO DRAMATIC, it's a thud. This is more of a Tonight Show thing for me. The runway version had tights and boots.
Maisie Williams in Miu Miu
I would've guessed she'd be in an elaborate pantsuit. The skirt here is fun and I love the girly hair with the violet color and her general punkier vibe. But the bodice looks like a bug's face.
Rose Leslie in Oscar de la Renta
That is SO pretty and dramatic -- a real proper gown. Emilia would have slayed in it. So would Sophie. Score one for Ygritte, who DID get to slay in it.
Sarah Paulson in Gucci
This made me laugh so hard. WELCOME BACK, Sarah Paulson's Crackpottier Instincts! She's pretty good at carrying a VERY heavy fashion load, but this is overwhelming and heinous. As usual, Alessandro Michele took a good material -- that gold -- and stomped all over it.
Amanda Peet in Oscar de la Renta
If you're wondering why this looks familiar: Meghan Markle wore it in Morocco. I didn't love it on her -- I was largely alone in that -- and I think it's because she had it remade to have the waist dropped, maybe because it felt more maternity to her that way. When I was pregnant I wore stuff with this kind of waist, and it gave me shape that I appreciated as I got bigger. So I would've liked to see how this version would've looked on Meghan, because I think it looks better this way than as a big floating caftan.
Carice van Houten
This is amusing in front of the fire, like she's an angel who is debating whether hell actually does seem more fun.
Natalie Dormer in Armani
The limo claims another victim. The dress itself is OK, but she seems edgier than this to me.
Lisa Bonet in Dior
She's dressed as... a tarot card? Let's all say a VERY EMPHATIC prayer that she lined it, because the runway version was all Joe Boxer all the time.
Indira Varma
Is that a tank top over a peasant blouse? Honestly, I would have left BOTH of those at home.
Nathalie Emmanuel
She looks beautiful, but that bodice appears to be fainting.
Jessica Williams
I thought that was a giant purse under her arm, until I saw the clutch in her hand. Instead it... appears that a cat is leaping off of her dress. I don't blame it. Get away, cat! It's terrible, like a bad sand sculpture.
Esme Bianco
This, however, is GORGEOUS. It doesn't need the tulle flaps, but the detailing is so pretty that I can't be too upset by it.
Rosie O'Donnell
I hope she makes a surprise cameo in the final season, but ONLY as her character from Sleepless in Seattle.
Phoebe Robinson in Brandon Maxwell
Gemma Chan wore this to Captain Marvel, and it was bad then, and it has not improved. Honestly, that top looks like bad Project Runway work, which is unfortunate for him because now he's one of their judges.
Hannah Murray
That is a hard color to pull off, and I'm not sure her styling team entirely figured out how to get her there.
Andrea Savage
Oh my God. I don't know if she MISSED a memo, or if she's just getting really really bad ones.
Gwen Christie
I had to finish on a more joyful note, except...
... it's not the end, because I accidentally downloaded two very very similar pictures, and of COURSE I'm going to show them both to you. If I had a patronus, it would be this. And if it WASN'T this, I would do a lot of dark magic to change it so that it was.