Cate Blanchett in McQueen
This is just so absurd. I know there are those who'd argue this is cerebral and clever, but I just see home goods poorly used and I'm good with that. The jacket part fits, at least? And her head is nice? Two triumphs.
Florence Pugh
This starts out sort of normally. Great makeup, slightly strange semi-homemade string necklace, but whatever, it might work. And then...
Florence in Victoria Beckham
... boom. She's not really so much wearing white as she is wearing skin with an overpriced Bed Bath and Beyond shower curtain over it. And quite apart from the yawning abyss that is This World of Sheers, the actual opaque white bit of the bodice is so badly done. All of the cuts of white fabric are, actually, I can see her underwear in two places; clever designers would sew this so that is strategically hidden. In fact, I might be talking myself out of liking this better than Cate's. Although... Cate's is a HEINOUS mash-up. Flo's is... sleek? And I think she is carrying its inanity better than Cate is carrying hers? But... it's bad?!? ARGH.
Miss Flo
I had to look at this several times before I noticed the gold fringe on both sides. In this battle of bad outfits, truly, we all lose.
Angela Bassett in Giambattista Valli
I have to be honest, this isn't great, either. It feels like a jewelry ad where she SHOULD be lying in a million-dollar bed draped in bling.
Jennifer Connelly in Louis Vuitton
What a strange place to keep your lumbar pillow.
I HAVE to assume this does not feel like sitting on two lumps?!? I also enjoy that they pinned up her hair so we can all see the massive zipper.
Kerry Condon
Very, very pretty! (She's in The Banshees of Inisherin.)
Jenny Slate in Rosetta Getty
Jenny's hair is looking VERY lush. I like that it's kind of the star attraction here.
Sadie Sink in McQueen
This feels like a nice normal McQueen after Cate's shenanigans.
Ana de Armas in Louis Vuitton
SOMEBODY spent too much time on the skirt and had to wing the bodice.
Miles Teller, Keleigh Sperry
Everything is in order here.
Adam Sandler and Jackie Sandler
And here, although Jackie looks kind of like she's in her nightie.
Michelle Monaghan in Monique Lhuillier
This is very close to her flesh tone, so I'm counting it as a neutral on her, rather than... pale pale pink, I think? It's pretty but the whole look might be a wee underbaked.
Danai Gurira in Max Mara
I mean... it doesn't ENCHANT me, at all, but it fits and she herself looks good. The cuff, earrings, and lip all work so well, so maybe the very VERY blank canvas of the dress is effective in that way.