The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

This is like that time Maria Von Trapp was a governess for Damien in The Sound of the Omen.

The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

I enjoy how completely that woman in the background is giving her the side-eye. And honestly, as much as we gave Gaga a hard time for showing up in an egg, this is also kind of ridiculously schticky. At least it only required one Person-As-Accessory, and not nine dudes in loin cloths.

The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Backstage And Audience

Don't look so sad, girl. It's okay that you lost Best New Artist. There's no need to...

The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Show

...totally lose your shit. DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I just said you didn't need to call out your zombie army.

The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Show

Someone on our twitter noted that this performance was a salute to that time on Days of Our Lives where Marlena got possessed by the Devil, and if that were actually the case, I would be SO on board. Because how awesome would that be? John Black could fly in and exorcise her, and what the Grammys are missing is more John Black.

Grammy Awards WTF: Nicki Minaj

You know, usually the Grammys make me feel young, because the Grammys themselves are usually SUPER old. Like, they were advertising it all over Los Angeles via a huge poster of Paul McCartney and while of course I love to dance around my living room to "She Loves You" as much as anyone else -- and that is a whole lot, seriously -- I don't think Paul is exactly who you want to be plugging if you want The Kids Today to be watching your show. You use, like, Lady Gaga or whatever. But when Nicki Minaj turned up and then performed...whatever this was....I totally turned to Heather and said, "I AM OLD." Because I could just not handle it. It was like someone decided to make a Broadway musical of The Exorcist, but with a sub-plot totally based on that Taylor Momsen song where she sleeps with a priest to have him intercede with God over a murder she committed and YES that is a real song and it's secretly kind of catchy. Unlike this one. Sorry, Nicki -- I would had gone with "Super Bass."