Lady Gaga in Armani
Naturally, we must begin at the beginning, with the first person on the red carpet. This seemed VERY strange -- usually the uber-famous come much later -- until we realized she probably had to change into an elaborate performance outfit and needed to get the parading out of the way. And parade the catsuit-and-skirt she did...
... perhaps a bit too vigorously. That is DefCrotch 2, at least, Gaga.
However, she did also pose the hell out of it in other ways. While I don't like this outfit, per se, I also think it looked good on her and did exactly what she intended for it to do: made it A Very Gaga Red Carpet.
Also, her hair is a shoe.
Janelle Monae in D&G
This is fascinating and a fun choice on her. I never would have predicted that she'd go with Formal Mariachi, but I'm feeling it on her.
From the side, I feel like neither the sleeves nor the pants are hemmed QUITE right? It's so pretty, though. Keira Knightley just wore a plainer Chanel tux at Sundance; that's two, and three is officially a trend, right?
Eve in Naeem Khan
This is fantastic on her, if also a little bit long. I can see a poke of shoe there, though. Maybe she just needed a slightly pointier one to make sure we could see that she has feet. The rest of it is super.
Miley in Jean Paul Gaultier
Color me astonished that Miley didn't go sheer OR flat-out naked. This is actually intriguing. She mostly hammed up the posing a little, especially with the flower, so the top started to give her linebacker shoulders (just stand like a normal person, Miley!). But I so appreciate what she was doing here, way more than when she'd wear Jeremy Scott's clothing that might as well have been made of candy wrappers, or tops that were just elaborate seatbelts.
India.Arie
I would have done a red shoe, but I LOVE the rest of this. Janelle Monae probably did, too. This feels VERY much like something she would have considered.
Pink in Armani
I would not be surprised if people thought this was too big, too wacky, too Psychedelic Muppet, but I LOVE IT and just wish she had gone all-in on a berry lip to match.
Pink in Armani
I like this shot beacuse it gives an idea of just HOW poofy and big this was.
The Family Pink
She also brought her husband, daughter Willow, and mom. They all look great; I actually think Mama Moore looks like a million bucks.
Anna Kendrick in Balmain
This surprisingly good on her, except for the lingerie top. I thought I objected to the pants RIGHT up until I started writing this slide, and suddenly she won me over a bit there. But: REAL SHIRTS ARE ACCEPTABLE, EVERYONE.
Ava Max
I am not sure what shirt I would have worn here, but one thing's for sure: not that one.
Cyndi Lauper in Moschino
I believe Cyndi is dressed as The Sistine Chapel.
Alessia Cara
She makes dressed-down work so well. And her curl formation is stellar.
Kesha
This was credited as something called Nudie's Rodeo Tailors and that collection of words is beyond any joke about it I could have written. Besides which, a) shiny boots, and b) I have a soft spot for Kesha, and she seemed very nervous about her big performance of "Praying," a moment that really made me tear up when it came. So you wear whatever you want, Kesha. I wish you had not endured what you did, and that you hadn't been fighting it at a time when people were less ready to listen.