Olivia Rodrigo in Givenchy

This is sort of a sad bird of a dress. Olivia sounded great singing "Driver's License," though, and at least this comes across as suitably dejected and stompy.

Silk Sonic - Bruno Mars and Anderson.Paak

These two have been committed to this theme for SO LONG NOW. I feel like they have been oozing through awards shows in their '70s vibe SINCE the '70s.

I think Anderson was REALLY enjoying this wig.

BTS

They sang "Butter," which is mad catchy. The dark ensembles were only okay.

Billie Eilish and Finneas O'Connell

Trevor Noah's whole bit about how no one knows Finneas's last name was so weird? He's not hiding it. Google and every Getty Images photographer knows it. I wasn't even aware he went by only Finneas until this year. ANYWAY, Billie's shirt has the late Taylor Hawkins on it, and I loved their performance.

Dua Lipa and Megan Thee Stallion in Versace

This bit fell flat. They came out pretending they were annoyed to be in the same outfit because they each thought they had the exclusive, so Donatella marched out of the crowd and pulled off parts of their skirts to "fix" it...

64th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Telecast

... and Donatella said, "Now these are my girls," or something, and they still basically looked the same except for subtle differences in skirt length. I genuinely could not tell if them looking the same still was the joke, or if it was supposed to... I don't know. Whatever it was, it didnt land. (I gather something similar happened with Whitney and Mariah in 1998 at the VMAs, but they made no mention of it, and that one sounded like it worked much better.)

Jon Batiste

Jon came out in a cape looking for all the world like he was at the barber getting a trim.

He soon shook off THAT look.

And then he donned a significantly more triumphant cape. Someday, I, too, would like a Cape of Triumph.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy

He gave a very serious, lovely pre-recorded speech about the war, the importance of music, and the horrors of silence in their ruined cities. It was well done. I am surprised they got him, given how everyone resisted this idea at the Oscars, but I also think the Grammys was a) a better fit, if he was going to do anything, and b) a better event overall.

Mika Newton, John Legend, Siuzanna Iglidan

Mika is a Ukrainian singer, and Siuzanna is playing the bandura, the national instrument of Ukraine. I feel like John Legend would like to campaign for his voice to be considered the national instrument of the United States.

Lyuba Yakimchuk

Lyuba performed a poem. I think this kind of package fit better at the Grammys than at the Oscars, because it was a more natural way to pay a tribute to Ukrainian culture, and music feels more... uplifting and uniting than movies, most of the time.

Chrissy changed to sit in the auditorium, which is wise, but I think she's about to pop a nipple. That top is straining to stay put.

Rachel Zegler (in Zuhair Murad), Cynthia Erivo, Leslie Odom Jr.

These three, plus Ben Platt, sang a Sondheim medley during the In Memoriam. They sounded wonderful together. Rachel's dress is also a 100 percent improvement over that dreary grey Dior disaster she wore on the red carpet.

H.E.R.

She began her performance in a frock that's quite beautiful...

H.E.R. with Lenny Kravitz

The man knows his way around a boot.

Lenny Kravitz

Carrie Underwood

Carrie, as usual, went with a short skirt and a wind machine.

Doja Cat

This looks fine in this photo, but apparently she went to the bathroom right when one of her categories was announced and then she WON and had to sprint to the stage.

It was Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, which she shared with Sza (who was on crutches?!?), and I swear the whole time she was up there I was concerned her right boob was making a run for it. Luckily it did not. (She had a moment where she turned to make sure her CROTCH was not doing a runner after her bathroom frenzy.)

Jazmine Sullivan

Jazmine won for Best R&B Album and seemed super surprised. Her suit is GREAT.

Lady Gaga

As vocally adept as she is, I have to be honest, I didn't really enjoy this set from her. It was a tribute to Tony Bennett, more or less (he was not present, as I believe he has fast-advancing Alzheimer's, but he recorded a very quick introduction for her), and their relationship is really quite wonderful, but I don't know. The songs weren't the best and it was a little shticky for me. I KNOW, I'm sorry.

Ludacris

His suit is superb. More please!

Nas

This is fine, but unfortunately for him, I put him after Ludacris and that suit is a tough act to chase.

Brandi Carlile

Brandi's collection of sparkly jackets is endless, and I sincerely want to run gleefully through her closet.

Lil Nas X

If we know anything about Lil Nas X, it's that he won't stay this drab for long.

And he didn't.

And he REALLY didn't.

John and TJ Osborne

And then these two brought down the house. Roll credits. It was a good night. I didn't even feel that old! IT'S A MIRACLE.

The Grammys Telecast Was... Honestly Quite Fun?

Is it just because the Oscars were not?