Jennifer Lopez in Stephane Rolland

Someone in our Drinks With Broads live chat said this looks like a cheap Halloween version of Cardi B's Mugler. That is so, so true. Her hips look like she's in a Mrs. Semi-Homemade America pageant and she's supposed to be wearing Tennessee.

Astonishingly, this IS how it came down the runway. Who overslept and forgot to complete the outfit?!?

Diana Ross

Everyone seemed DELIGHTED to see Diana Ross. As you would be. She was this year's Celine Dion; everyone fanned themselves in the crowd and Kendrick Lamar fully genuflected. (Taylor Swift will never live down not doing that for Celine. I guarantee she has written a poem somewhere about how that keeps her up at night.)

Doechii in Thom Browne

She appeared to be trying to set the world record for Most Thom Browne Worn in a Given Evening. In addition to the red carpet outfit, she busted out the world's tiniest jacket to go with the world's largest pants. It is a hilarious outfit and she's giving it all the considerable charm she has.

Doechii

There's also this, which I assume has to be Thom Browne, given the stripe motif...

And finally, this. She literally showed up with bells on (her heels). It is a LOT of Thom, and as we know from experience, it can get tiresome. So while she wears each piece well, I hope she has exorcised it and is ready to shake it up next time.

Cynthia Erivo in Ashi Studio

As usual, she brought a lot to her performance in the Quincy Jones tribute. She's tremendous, and the big bubble skirt and hat worked so well.

Sabrina Carpenter in custom D&G

Her performance had big Busby Berkeley Old Hollywood energy, although the sound was not great -- it felt like the Grammys took a beat to get that right?

Sabrina in custom D&G

Her other costume tied into her red carpet dress a little.

Sabrina Carpenter

I am rarely, if ever, mad at a glittery gold gown.

Benson Boone

He had Heidi Klum and Nikki Glazer rip off his clothes to reveal this sparkly outfit, which was fun -- and then he did his signature flip. And at a funky angle! Delightful.

Chappell Roan in custom Thom Browne

MORE Thom. At least it's not grey? She only wore this for like half a second -- basically between the red carpet and her performance -- and I think that's about all we needed of it. This is what Molly Ringwald would have done if Pretty in Pink were Beauty in Blue.

Chappell Roan in Acne Studios

She ended the night in this -- her hat fell off while she gave her Best New Artist speech -- and it is genuinely hideous. It's giving The Princess Used Her Bedsheets To Escape And Got Stuck In Them.

Chappell Roan

This is a song about a woman proudly not giving up go-go dancing at her club in WeHo (she said it was inspired by the dancers at The Abbey). And this performance was FULL OF JOY; the song is SO satisfying to belt in the car, but this felt like a particular release of magic energy. I just loved the whole thing.

Shaboozey

This was also fabulous. I'm telling you, most of this show put me in the best mood.

Raye

She had to follow Shaboozey singing "Tipsy," which I don't envy, but she nailed it too. That dress is gorgeous on her.

Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars

They sang "California Dreamin," and this photo of it cracked me up.

Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars

I laughed at that hair all night, truly. Jess said Miley's looked like she got drunk and started to give herself a bob, then chickened out; this is that, times Morticia Addams.

Sza

How is... did she... is there GLUE involved? Because surely tape would falter.

Chrissy Teigen in Tony Ward

She changed out of a naked dress, into an arguably nakeder dress that is pancaking the heck out of her boobs. I assume she's one of those people who just prefers being naked at home, and decided to create that same feeling for what was an INCREDIBLY LONG SHOW (even though it was good).

Sure, girl. Love the hand trying to keep it PG.

Charli XCX

So... stringy.

Charli XCX

All the unworn undies are getting donated to charity. And... I hope washed first?!?

Billie Eilish and Finneas

I believe the projection behind them is of some of the land that has since burned.

Sheryl Crow, Brittany Howard, St. Vincent, and Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith

This performance of "I Love LA" -- a song I do not actually like -- was a very peppy opener, and I like Dawes (the Goldsmith bros). But I might like that song BETTER if someone gave Brittany Howard a crack at it.

Norah Jones

Norah Jones!! I had no idea. She looks adorable.

Shakira

Shakira is about six months older than I am, and I watched her performance and thought, "Oh, shit, am I supposed to be able to do any of that, much less do HALF of it without groaning and then muttering, 'Old lady noises' to myself?"

That one dancer is ALL IN on using her crotch as a prop.

Kendrick Lamar

Kendrick did not dress up, but in Kendrick's defense, he's got a REALLY BIG afternoon coming up next weekend at the Super Bowl and he's gotta be in great Drake-dissing form.

Queen Latifah

This sculptural cloak on Latifah is stunning.

But Latifah ALSO wore this, and I wish we'd gotten to see more of it? Why are we using up both outfits on the same night, when we can't spend enough time with either?

Miley in Alaia

She made a big deal out of how much she loves this Alaia, and didn't even say it's a major designer. Sigh. It's also a pretty un-major Alaia, as Alaias go. AND not THAT wildly different from what she wore on the red carpet. A lot of hoopla over very little.

Stevie Wonder

This was exactly the right amount of hoopla! Stevie's still got it.

Lainey Wilson

I thought those were her hair extensions at first. That's probably not a good sign for her hair extensions.

Janelle Monae

Janelle performed "Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough," one of Quincy Jones's songs with Michael Jackson, as part of the Q tribute. I have complicated feelings about Michael's music, given all the credible allegations that are truly awful. This was a reminder that his work, and his impact on music, was not done in a vacuum. Kind of like how if your football team has a player you side-eye, it doesn't automatically mean you stop cheering for the whole team, because a bunch of other people are out there busting ass too.

This was a nice finish.

The Weeknd

The Weekend. Red smoke. A pile of people. Next!

Teddy Swims

Somehow these roses looked very sinister on screen.

Chase Stokes and Kelsea Ballerini

These two were, as the magazines, say, VERY loved-up in the audience. She ditched her beaded couture for a basic strapless situation that WAS probably a lot more comfortable.

I just will never stop laughing at the hat. Yeah, yeah, princess imagery, but I like to think she's a Cones of Dunshire superfan.

The Grammys Telecast Involved Loads of Outfit Changes

Just the way we like it.