Nicole Kidman in Mugler
She looks wonderful, classy, perfect... and those Prabal shoes are sexy perfection and I will not stop until they are mine. (Note: They will never be affordable so I have basically already stopped by dint of never starting.)
Ciara in Alexandre Vauthier
Oh my God. Edgar Allen NO.
Ashanti
Ashanti is looking sideways at Ciara and wondering if she should have tried harder. The answer is no. YOU ARE ASHANTI VAG SLING. YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH.
Jessie J in Ralph & Russo
That is very beautiful and very played, and... if I have to tolerate a see-through dress, that's on the list of ones I will accept. Especially when you compare it to the OTHER one she wore...
Jessie J
"Looks like I've got a silver fox too, GAGA."
Meghan Trainor
Abysmal. It's just... it's the worst thing ever. It's FORMAL SPANX.
Kelly Osbourne
Meghan Trainor's face always reminds me of when Kelly was a platinum blonde. If she insists on staying purple, then at least this is pretty on her coloring, and overall she looks fine here. But she announced on-air that Joan won a Grammy and then said, "We're just so honored and thrilled that she won," which... there is no "we" in "Joan Rivers won a Grammy," Kelly. She didn't win it for anything you had anything to do with, so step aside, child. You are not her representative left on this earth. There were 100 other ways to say that which didn't involve making it sound like you own a piece of Joan's win.
Miranda Lambert in Gabriela Cadena
I think this is super cute on her. I like Miranda Lambert, and I feel like there is so much smoke around Blake Shelton Is A Pervy Cheater that there must be some fire there too. (They hugged when she won, and then she didn't mention him and he sat there smiling with this vacant, glassy smie, as if his exterior was present and listening and his interior was making a double Jack and Coke and hitting on a bartender.) I am not rooting for Marital Strife or heartbreak, but if those two split up, her divorce album will be EXPLOSIVELY SASSY. The only thing better would be if Bey and Jay blew up at the same time so that Miranda and Beyonce could do an angry-confident Getting Back On The Horse duet. (Everyone can get back together later and be happy again if that's what y'all want. I am mostly just rooting for good treadmill music.)
Nicki Minaj
I love the fact that Nicki Minaj goes everywhere wearing the exact same "I CANNOT BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE" facial expression.
Courteney Cox
Monica looks nice. It occurs to me that I have very little else to say about any of this, except that even if she weren't there as a plus-one, she should always have an invitation to the Grammys for her pivotal role in Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing In The Dark" video.