Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford
From this angle, my notes are mostly styling -- like, I keep wanting to hit her eyebrows with a touch of pencil to make them a SMIDGE darker than her dye job. Her face needs them and they're vanishing on her.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford
From the side, though, we have some surprises. Of course. And right when you're wondering about the randomness of side vents...
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford
... you realize it's because EITHER the back is cropped, or there's just a cutout all the way around the back. And this is where it loses me. I can't tell what the hell is going on, but WHATEVER it is, the effect it's having on her rear end is bad. This is GWYNETH MOTHERF'ING PALTROW we're talking about here. It should be nigh on impossible to do weird things to her butt, and yet here we are. Not the territory I expected to forge this morning.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford
Honestly, none of it is that flattering. The top half of the pants seems to be a size too tight, and I think that is part of what's hurting the effect of the cutout. As we've toured this sucker, I care a lot less about her eyebrows and a lot more about why Tom Ford sticks people in awful things when they're just trying to salute him. He and Stella McCartney should either be best friends, or stay far away from each other, and I can't decide which.