Halpern SS 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596a) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

One thing I have learned about this brand is that it loves surprise pants.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596b) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

And this figure skating has a surprise neck-shawl for the Kiss & Cry area, I guess.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596c) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Sheer pants DO count as surprise pants, as I am awlays surprised to see them.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596d) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

SWINTONNNNNNN. (Or Robyn, as this reminds me of something she's worn, and maybe someday I will look that up and find out it was Halpern.)

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596e) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

So much of this sculptural stuff feels like something you'd see on-stage at the Grammys.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596f) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Maybe GOOP needs a new suit.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596g) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Pants, sheers, and a wind accident. I smell OSCARS.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596h) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Halsey.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596i) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Sienna Miller.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596j) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017 SAME OUTFIT AS Lupita Nyong'o

And enter Lupita's dress. No one else shall lay claim.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596k) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Gabrielle Union, COME ON DOWN.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596l) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017 SAME OUTFIT AS Amal Clooney

I am sort of surprised Kate Hudson hasn't invested in those pants yet.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596m) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Floor length, and without the netting (or with; she's not above it) and we could be calling this for Golden Globe Nominee Jessica Biel.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596n) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Hailee Steinfeld.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596o) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Whoever hosts the Oscars should just GO FOR BROKE.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596p) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

I would love that, if it had a skirt.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596q) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Diane Kruger's next?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596r) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Eh, send it to Bella Hadid.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596s) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Diane Kruger did well with this when she had it.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596t) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

I want ALL OF THIS as wrapping paper. And each of it to be its own dress.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596u) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

She looks like a welcome packet from a cleansing retreat.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596v) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

I mean, the pants kinda feel like Diana Ross, if I'm being honest.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596w) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Gwen Christie.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596x) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Chloe Sevigny.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596y) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Chloe Sevigny or Solange at the Met Ball, regardless of theme.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596z) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Kristen Stewart.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596aa) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

I am WEIRDLY into this as art and would enjoy if it materialized at the Globes. J.Law was snubbed; I hope she agrees to present and then wears this.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596ab) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596ac) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Naomie Harris

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pixelformula/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9065596ad) Model on the catwalk Michael Halpern show, Runway, Spring Summer 2018, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2017

Michelle Dockery. PURELY for the shock of it.