Kim Kardashian

This is basically Kim saying, "Here is my self-esteem, right on this v-necked platter."

Kim Kardashian c. 2007

Compare this Kim to the one of today, and she is an entirely different human -- as if she is her own cousin. Also, I am fascinated by her chest. Do we think she had older, cheaper implants removed? Or... removed and then replaced with way better ones? Her chest looks a lot more naturally large now than it used to, but I can't figure out exactly why and how. Somehow it all adds up to, "More money," though.

Kim Kardashian in 2014

This whole outfit is both predictable and a bummer. There's no commitment to this. It's just THERE. She might as well be wearing a towel, having stepped out of the shower. Then again, maybe that was the idea.

Kim Kardashian c. 2007

I can't decide if that's Crispy Mermaid, or Aging Parchment. Either way, although the taste LEVEL is higher now, the basic germ of When In Doubt, Get 'Em Out still burns hotly in her chest.

Happy Fugday, Kim Kardashian

I've told this story on GFY before, but: Every time I see Kim at Tao in Las Vegas, I think back to the time in 2007 -- a shocking seven years ago now -- when my dad and I were staying in the Venetian, and we wandered past Tao just as Kim was being photographed at a step-and-repeat outside. He asked me who it was, and I explained that she was some rando fool who was best-known for hanging out with Paris Hilton. Dad glanced at her, his brows arched in deepest skepticism, and then said with extreme Britishness, "I am not impressed." So, in honor of Kim's birthday appearance at Tao this weekend, I decided to look for that old photo. And juxtapose it with the current one. Some things change (her face), some things remain the same (her taste). [Photos: Splash, Fame/Flynet]