Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
On the right person, that could be amazing. And because the model kind of reminds me of her, I'm going to go wild and suggest... Katie Holmes. She needs to shake it up, right?
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
This is obviously perfect for Tina Fey. (And yes, apparently the models ARE barefoot but for all the gold.)
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I would stick that on Lady Gaga. I like that she's gone Old Hollywood at the last few awards shows, but I'm ready for her to split the difference a bit.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I just want to see this on Galavant.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I've decided Cleopatra wandered around like this ALL THE TIME, except without the underwear. Just to mess with people.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I hope this turns up somewhere, sans the coat. Emma Stone, where are you?
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I both like this, and fear the fact that the ONLY thing fitting it to her is the body jewelry, so you HAVE to look expensively harnessed.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I mostly chose this because you can see a bright caftan in the background, which allowed me to skimp on that photo. MWA HA HA.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Speaking of skimpy.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
You are wearing a bag. I don't care how nice of a bag it is; it's still a bag.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I need a keyboard macro for, "Line, and then we can talk."
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
And then randomly something like this pops up. It's a pretty color, secretly a bit sheer, and TOTALLY a palate cleanser.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
This is like the sister dress to the one I asked Emma Stone to consider. I'd accept either.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
When is the ritual sacrifice? I shall need a virgin.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Will you accept simply the blood of a virgin? In the form of ketchup?
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I might love this, now that I see those are hissing snakes at the bottom. SHE can come to the sacrifice for SURE.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
She's bringing the viscera jars.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
She's one of five clones carrying in the priestess on a litter. (There were several versions of this theme in the show, so they don't even have to all dress identically. We can be VERY fashion-flexible at this sacrifice.)
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
She's in charge of the interpretive dance.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
And she's the accountant. We are ALWAYS running over budget at these things.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I like this. Let's keep it for... Kerry Washington? It's a bit different for her, which I support.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I have a fondness for those weirdo accordion sleeves.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
The skirt is too busy. Let the top stand on its own please.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Yep, the deep vee is Having A Moment.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I could see Gwyneth picking this.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
A few people JUST wore the dark teal Dion Lee that uses similar netting. There are only so many human basketball hoops.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
What a beautiful skirt. I really missed color from the Elie Saab show. For me, it was Elie Draab. So I appreciate Valentino for always having a lush palette.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Make it a color, scrap the ruffle, and I'd give it a whirl.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Sometimes I think Valentino and Marchesa very much yearn for each other.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
This is kind of like REGENCY Valenchesa.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
And this is their fusion into a line called Murky Pelvic Depression.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Snip snip: The arm ties do not need to exist. The volume of the top would likely come down several degrees as well if someone were to wear it, but the color is beautiful.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I would endorse the skirt's near-literal peacocking if the emperor had any clothes on with it.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Doesn't that feel like it's on backwards? It's gorgeous otherwise, though.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
This model looks like Nicole Kidman from way back in the day. That's all I've got.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
I actually like that pattern, but the neck and hem make it look like she really did take a rug and sew it together.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Is this a poncho? It's BEAUTIFUL, but... it's a poncho.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Add that to my wrapping paper shopping list.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
This makes her look like she has a spreading crotch disease.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
This line is seriously all over the place.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
Poncho II: Poncho's Revenge.
Haute Couture Week: Valentino S/S 2016
And then back to goddess couture. I don't even know anymore. I should just be happy I don't hate ALL of it?