High Fugshion: Chanel Spring 2015 Runway Show at Paris Fashion Week

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

We begin with Cara Delevingne, modeling a suit that looks way more like fall/winter to me, no matter what tie-dyed Toms-like flats you stick with it.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Karl really likes to make his models look boxy if he can. That print is kind of cool, though. It reminds me of microfiche.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

... I like the purse? But none of the proportions. (Well, the purse's proportions are fine. Let's not drag the purse into this any more than it already has been.)

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Did Karl go through a brief Water Lilies phase?

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Please tell me floods aren't coming back.

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Floods MAY be coming back.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I could easily see Lupita in that bright suit. Without the boots. And possibly with just a regular shirt underneath it.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I LOVE that shirt.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I would put this on Julianne Moore, I think. Or maybe Julianne Moore would put it on Julianne Moore.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Fannings ahoy?

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Can we just give the dress underneath a CHANCE? Did the shrunken wool quarter-trench really need a job today?

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

DITTO. This one is getting me with the way the top is bubbling up out from under the cardigan. So distracting. Worlds of no.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I think JUST the poncho would've been enough, rather than the poncho over a coat that has gone kerflooey.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I actually find this coat super cheerful, but what I enjoy the most is that the purse she's carrying looks like one of those old VCRs you'd rent from Blockbuster -- like, they'd come in a plastic carry-case, and everything. OLD-SCHOOL.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I just want to trim up this coat's hobo ends. And make it reversible. I like the skirt, though. Karl's shows are for me -- lately, anyway -- a clear example of SENSORY OVERLOAD that can be edited down into a great piece here, or a nice pattern there.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

A bit Country Club for my taste.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

That's cute enough -- Kristen Stewart would have worn the top and skirt like five years ago, with black basic pumps that she traded later for sneakers -- and the brogues are a delight.

But we need to discuss the Miss Piggy tights -- they have the sheen that our favorite Muppet's legs do -- that end in ankle cuffs. Let us say no.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Everyone may be hotter in sunglasses, but nobody is hotter in glasses made of pipe-cleaners.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Oh, God. I hate that top so much but I never want her to take it off, because what's underneath promises to be extremely upsetting as well.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

How about... Hailee Steinfeld?

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Oh, God, more pants. THE PANTS ARE HURTING ME.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

That should get couriered to Emma Stone.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I'm getting another Fanning vibe. It's frightening me.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

This requires either an ACTUAL Cate Blanchett, or someone who may think she has Carte Blanchett (Julianne Moore again).

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Now I feel like Karl fell asleep on a pile of books about Windsor Castle, or something.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

That's kind of cute. Let's see... Phoebe Tonkin from "The Originals" sometimes gets her hands on a Chanel or two. This would work on her.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

That line down the front looks like bad sutures.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I wonder what's UNDERNEATH the cardie, as we're unlikely to see the cardie itself on a red carpet.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

That is super cute. I wish I needed suits. Well, okay, I wish I had the budget for THESE suits, if I were to need suits.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Sleeve length can be just as important - and just as regrettable - as pant length, in terms of making people look stumpy.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

CUTE CUTE CUTE. A pre-Globes tea party, maybe?

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

That's also okay, but so body that you need to be built like Alexa Chung to pull it off.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

The outfit is good, but I LOVE her bracelet. Karl does not NAB.

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I want this. -- An Interjection Into Heather's Slideshow from Jessica

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Right? There's something alluring about all the stripes and the layers and the gold belt, but then you throw in the matching boots, and it's a slow prance to Crazytown.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Weird, and also maybe nifty.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I couldn't figure out quite why I wanted to suggest Kate Mara for this, until I realized the model -- and her kind of murderously fierce expression -- LOOKS like Kate Mara, a bit.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

This is a difficult comedown.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I just want to crop this at the waist, and throw away the lower half.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

... STEP AWAY FROM THE GLUE GUN, KARL.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I'M WARNING YOU SIR.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

I wish he had finished this, instead of throwing on shorts underneath it (seriously, there is totally a stray thread hanging down to her kneecap).

Chanel Spring/Summer 2015 Runway Show

Very kicky. But this model makes me insane. She walks REALLY REALLY SLOWLY and gives death stares to people in the front row -- I saw this in particular effect at Zac Posen -- and it's way too ME ME ME for my taste.