Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I feel like this is the collection for those ladies who felt that Donna Karan was just TOO BEIGE TO LIVE. This collection rejects beige ENTIRELY.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I actually love both of these, as clothing AND as wallpaper. But the cocktail number is kicky as hell. There are always A LOT of starlets at Siriano's shows, which makes sense. He makes Cheery Photocall Dresses -- and not for nothing is one of the few people who have ALSO Wrangled The Boobs of The Hendricks.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I used to have this theory that everyone needs to have a personal style that can be easily defined in two words. Mine was "classic quirky" (it it's less quirky than it used to be because right now I am that age where the wrong kind of quirky makes me look old. Like, when you're very young you can get away like dressing like a crazy old lady, and then when you're very old, you can obviously get away with it, but when you're kind of middle-ish, if you're not careful, you just look bad) and that pencil skirt/crazy coat/white shirt IS Classic Quirky.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I feel like those separates would be fab on someone at a photocall. A Fanning. Can we put that on a Fanning?

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

That dress is inching close to Hip Wimple territory, but the yellow pants crack me up. Paging Zosia Mamet.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I would have axed both of these looks from this collection. I feel like this is where Tim Gunn would have come in and waved at these with concern.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

Here too, although the pink and green combo makes my inner preppy weep with joy.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I am never going to be that into something where the skirt starts at this portion on the body. I have accepted this about myself. It just never looks right to my eyeballs. But I love seeing a woman pulling off this color.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

Yeah, no, still not feeling these minis. Stick to your strength, Christian! You don't see OdlR designing motorcycle pants.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

That pink day dress might work on someone, though.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

This unfortunately feels like a lesser version of green Lanvin Queen Maxima wore last week.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

The dress screams ZOE SALDANA to me and the pants/shirt combo screams LUNATIC.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

For one sweet glorious minute, I thought that top was a poncho.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

But that trench is DAMN CUTE.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I feel like this is the moment where Siriano was like, "eff daywear. I don't want to do it anymore. BACK TO GOWNS."

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

This might be good on the right person.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I think this looks like it's related to this vintage number that Kate Upton wore.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I LOVE stripes, but these might be too much for me personally? I look forward to your thoughts.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I am also amused by the lady painting in the background. I enjoy that someone had to call her and ask if she wanted to do this.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

This might even be too much for wallpaper. But I kind of like the idea of some really wacky old ladies sporting either of these looks.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

And while I wasn't in love with this pattern in the previous slide, the coat and skirt here are RIGHT in my Wheelhouse of Quirk.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I sort of wish this skirt had just COMMITTED.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I DO want to twirl around in that skirt. This is basic, but lovely.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I think this is lovely, and if the top will fit her correctly, Hendricks should pull it for the Emmys.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

And I actually kind of like this but can't see it translating to the red carpet successfully.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

This would be a BOLD Emmys choice (the Emmys are the next major awards show; they're in August) but it might work on, say, a Kelly Ripa. She LOVES a pattern and she's so perky she can carry one.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I actually almost want someone to wear this because it will be nutty and we're all going to enjoy it. I also want Zosia Mamet to wear this, actually. I can see it. It won't be GOOD on her, but I could see it.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

Somewhere, Eva Longoria is like, "WAIT. WHAT. YES. THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE I MUST BUY."

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I liked this idea better in the iteration Coco Rocha just wore, I think. That said, Coco could pull off a LOT of these.

Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I like this for a Lady of a Certain Age. BUT NOT HENDRICKS. DON'T, CHRISTINA. DO NOT.

High Fugshion: Christian Siriano Resort 2015

I feel like between Fall, Spring, pre-Fall, Resort, Cruise, and whatever else designers are expected to come up with these days, they must spend their workday in a state of constant carpal tunnel and creative fear. That said, I like the idea of coming up with yet more required collections for our amusement: I demand a Coachella Collection, and a Post-Summer (for days when it's still too hot to wear your Fall clothes but you're tired of all your summer clothes, but is different from Pre-Fall because I said so) and a Mid-Winter, which will just be pants with elastic waists because we've all been living on gratins for the last four-months. Until those are put into play, though, let's just enjoy (OR NOT) this one. Unsurprisingly considering the designer, this is the resort collection for the women whose resorts require a lot of formal gowns. [Photos: Christian Siriano]